Trying to Find Faith Purple Rain and Talking Cows.

The beginning of a redemption story.

2011-09-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

This is the beginning of a story that I started writing. Let me know what you think!

I cried. Actually, I sobbed in front of this total stranger who didn’t even know my full name.

“Pregnant?” The cracked sound of my voice proved my emotion.

“Yes, six weeks.” The nurse didn’t even make eye contact with me. Her voice, flat and dull, said “You stupid girl. Stop being so irresponsible.” I’d heard it all before. Don’t do this, don’t do that. If only the people who told me actually cared.

“What--what do I do now?” The whisper was barely audible and wasn’t met for anyone to answer, but of course Judgmental Nurse just loved to take this opportunity to rant on and on about teens sleeping together, getting pregnant, the family never lasting, the next generation failing, and how the world is going to die because of my generation...

I don’t think it’s been a good day for either of us.

I pick up my light jacket and rush out of the free clinic. I don’t even know where I am going because the water in my eyes is blurring my vision. I know I don’t have much time to get to my car before I have an emotional breakdown. I break out of the confinement of the clinic and sprint to my lime green hippie van. There, I know I can calm myself and drive home to where my father will be passed out on the couch from his latest hang over. I reach my van and climb in the front seat just in time. I let the hot tears fall and remember the girl my dad brought home last night. Hopefully she doesn’t try to steal anything. I instinctively reach and finger my mother’s wedding ring that was about stolen last week. I caught my father’s lady friend eyeing it. I wanted to scream at her to stay away. The only token I have left of my mother hangs around my neck on a chain, and I’m not willing to let a single soul take it away from me.

I started my car, pushing my raw emotion behind me and trying not to think about it. After all, nothing is that different yet. I just have to last long enough until my father finds out and hopefully remembers so I don’t have to explain and be punished more than once.

penpals - starting my own basket

2011-08-15T17:42:00.000-07:00

One of the two main reasons I started a blog was because I really wanted to connect with people across the world. The world has become an international place now, as apposed to a state. I've seen people on their turf, watched them speak their language, and indulged in their culture. I can't wait to do this again, but for now I would L-O-V-E to write people across the good, ol' USA and world wide. If you, or anyone you know would like to penpal with mwah then let me know! There's this thing that I'm kind of jealous about in my bff, Katie's room. She has a basket (that I wish I conveniently had a picture of right now) that she has all of her letters she's received from people all around the world. I am so. jealous. I'm waiting to start my own basket, and when I do I'll give you a better picture than the lovely google images one I found :)

Overcome

2011-07-28T04:35:00.000-07:00

on the other side of the world,

there are kids.

kids who want to be loved.

who at one point,

were never loved.

their mother hung herself.

they were thrown out of a car by their parents and run over.

their parents were drunk.

their Mom was stabbed by their Grandma.

they don’t know who their parents are.

no one wants them.

their Dad died from a heart attack.

stories.

reasons not to hope.

hurt and pain.

unloved.

orphan.

on the other side of the world,

there are caregivers,

parents,

people who want to love.

who at one point,

could barely see the light of the other side.

they lost a daughter-someone they loved.

they were hurt.

in prison.

drugs.

violence.

drinking.

REDEMPTION.

on the other side of the world,

there are stories to be told.

kids who believe in hope,

something bigger than hurt.

these kids are loved.

they have stories of redemption.

not stories of hurt, pain, and being unloved.

they have overcome.

He has overcome.

what i was like as a kid

2011-06-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

I've decided to show you the things from wee little Ali. I was a creative kid (or so I've been told) and I just happened to keep a lot of my creations and things I loved all of this time. So, in honor of deep cleaning my room and closet, here are some pictures (with captions of course!) of my childhood.

Figured I should start it all off with a picture of little kid Ali (and my brother). Weren't we so cute? :)

These were one of my favorite toys. I have a bajillion of them. It was like playing dollhouse except with dogs. I guess we could call it a doghouse! Score. Also, I am keeping them stored away because I know that there will be some little one at my house eventually who will LOVE these things as much as I did.

Self explanatory. I was a great artist.

My parents anniversary card in the making. I think I was about 10 when I wrote this. Notice the intricate spelling.

I collected bouncy balls. I had 100+ of these silly little things. I wish I could be there when Goodwill opens the bag with all of these in it.

Look deeply at this one. There's four layers of beads in that picture. I was WAY into jewelry. Sorry for the picture. When I took it, I thought it looked better then it did. All of these shall be going to Goodwill or to Katie's younger sisters if they would like them.

That's it you guys! Hope you enjoyed this post. Let me know if you do one as well, cuz' I'd love to read it :)

have a great week!

~Believer in PRTC

i thought it would be a good time to blog

2011-05-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

This might be a kind of funny thing to think about. But, maybe it's just me attempting to see the humor is something that is ridiculously scary. Some sirens are going off. So I'm in the basement with my Mom, dog, (whose very freaked out right now. He likes security.) and cat (whose is stalking my dog and waiting to attack). My goofy boy is out on the porch. Not to sure why yet.
So here's a bit of what we've got going on.

Scary, isn't it?

Your guys' lovely prayers would be most encouraging as we take on this voyage. Thanks! Let me know how you guys are all doing with all of these storms! Thinking of you all.

Love,

PRTC

the picture blog post

2011-05-24T18:51:00.000-07:00

I thought I would share exactly what I have been so busy with in pictures. Good idea, right?

I really love this picture. Which is kind of weird, I guess, because after all it is me. Though, I do think that it's rather poetic and simplistic.

So that is me, on my new Mac that I adore. I got it for my birthday this year. When my Dad brought it in I about started crying. It was a rather funny thing.

Oh, photo books.

This is my Mom's present from Mom's day/her birthday. It took my quite a while to gather all the photos and arrange them like I wanted, but this gift came out really well. I have yet to order it and actually get the book here, but I will be doing that soon.

These are fabulous.

These shoes are GREAT. Converse knows how to make some great flip flops. Now, don't judge, I know they look a little strange, but I really really love them. They're super comfy and fun. I enjoy watching people stare at me as I walk down the halls.

I'm addicted.

This game and I have become close friends. I've spent way to much time just messing around with it. It's such a silly thing, I think, to be spending that much time on one game. So I'm about to delete it, or at least limit myself with my play time. Responsible, right?

That pretty much it other then church and school. Hope you guys are doing well! Stay safe from all those tornadoes!

Love, PRTC

wishing flower

2011-05-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

The little girl stood in the dancing field. Laughing and running with arms stretched out, she felt the wind lace through her fingers. She abruptly stopped in the middle of her routine circle. A wonderful wish was waiting for her. She folded her legs beneath her and sat on the padded grass. Her eyes were wide with wonder. She picked the wish and held it up in the wind where all of the feather-like pedals whimsically floated away. She giggled and went off in search for another one, but she didn't have to go far. Again, she picked the wish, but this time she blew on it and watched as the soft white pedals blew away. She wished in that moment for nothing else but life to never end.

The teenagers sat on a blanket covering the grass underneath them. They smiled as they shared the picnic with the world. The girl remembered this sacred field and what it ment to her. She wanted to bring him here to share in the bliss feeling of the field. She looked over to him and saw the frown on his face. They chatted. He told her that it was over, this relationship. He was sorry, but he couldn't help her anymore. She cried as he walked to his truck and drove away, leaving her surrounded in a field full of wishes. Wishes that she needed, but didn't believe in. Nothing could be more ugly, and remind her of the betrayal that happened in this moment.

The girl fresh out of college tucked her hands in the back pockets of her short jean skirt as she drove her car up to the wishing field. A warm breeze welcomed her and she walked to the edge. As she overlooked all of the beautiful flowers that met so much to her, she saw the wonderful, innocent little girl. She ran in circles, giggling non-stop. She saw the little one stretch out her hands to feel the wind interweave with her small hand. College girl pulled her shirt down to try to cover her tummy. She wanted to remember and forget. She wanted to run the the little girl and tell her not to ever lose her wishes. She wanted to tell her to keep running, keep wondering, never give yourself up, always keep wishing.

Hope you enjoyed the story! Sorry I've been gone for so long!
~PRTC

Mirror.

2011-04-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish you would just break me.

After all, I've seen you pretty broken.

---mirror

"Who says
Who says you're not perfect
Who says you're not worth it
Who says you're the only one that's hurting
Trust me
That's the price of beauty
Who says you're not pretty
Who says you're not beautiful

Who says
Who says you're not star potential
Who says you're not presidential
Who says you can't be in movies
Listen to me, listen to me
Who says you don't pass the test
Who says you can't be the best
Who said, who said
Won't you tell me who said that."

things i love

2011-03-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

Spring Break. Lovely isn't it? Does anybody else picture High School Musical when they hear those words? Maybe it's just me.

Books, Books, and more Books. I've gotten 6 books in less then a week. Currently the two being read are "The Truth about Forever" and "The Book Thief". Great stuff.

Charlie. Have you seen his videos? You need to watch them right here.

My blogger header. I made it! It's the first time I've ever home made something that works really well. (thank you, Adobe.) Now I just have to spend another few hours to make another one. boo.

Yellow and this delightful picture. (Thanks Google Images)

Puerto Rican Coffee. It's some of the best (if not the best) I've ever had.Good luck finding it though!

Hope you all are doing well! I promise to have a real post next time. :)

~Believer in PRTC

oh goodness.

2011-02-24T19:44:00.000-08:00

I finally visited the school library. I'm way proud of myself. It took a lot of courage to go in there, alone. Gladly, one of my guy friends, Noah, was in there. I got all of my homework done, and it was comfortable.

I had a band concert tonight. It was the first time I had not worn pantyhose too. It was wonderful. I also got to wear dress pants insted of a skirt. Isn't that exciting?!

As a lot of you know, my birthday was on Monday. I ate Chinese food, went to school, had a lot of people sing happy birthday too me, and am most likely going out with my Grandma to do yoga on Saturday. I promise I will do my best to take pictures. I'm pretty sure that it's going to be really funny.

My friend got an iPhone, way cool.

My other friend blogged on our conjoined book blog, which then always makes me feel like I have to blog again on here so that it will show up first on my dashboard. So this is my kind of lame post to make mine go back to the top.

I'm lovin' the new Pink song (without the bad words). I would look it up, but make sure you find the radio version. Also, the new Hillsong United album is GOOD STUFF. People, you really should go get it.

I'm still really enjoying my new school.

You need to watch Hawaii Five-O. It's a tv show on at 10 on Mondays. It's sooooo good. One of my all time favorites.

How's like going for you? Any new books, music, or movies?
Ta ta for now!
~Believer in PRTC

p.s. All those responses on my last post were OUTSTANDING!!! I was blown away. Thanks so much you guys!

"if we are the body..."

2011-02-19T20:45:00.000-08:00

She snuck into the back row, late, as usual.

“Look what she wearing today, a mini skirt and a shirt with no sleeves.” I heard the girls beside me whisper.

“Look those two.” My friend beside me leaned over to me during the middle of the song. “He’s practically got his hand on her butt.”

I nodded, trying to get my friend to talk later. I hated being the loud ones during youth group. We always got weird looks because my friends and I were the “goody two shoes” of the group.

The worship went on. The lovely words washed over me. Such a relief to be accepted here.

“Look at her.”

“Look at that outfit.”

“I don’t think they’re even paying attention.”

“You would think they’re one person with how close they’re sitting.”

My friends and I talked back and forth in between the song switch.

Soon the worship and message ended, and everyone started exiting the room. I saw one of our leaders walk up to the girl and welcome her and the boyfriend. We all rushed passed her without a second glance to even look back and talk to our old friend.

~

“It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girls teasing laughter is
carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

Chorus:
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way”
Just a reminder today. Don’t forget to love.
~Believer in PRTC

things i kind of really like

2011-02-15T18:32:00.000-08:00

Watching America's Funnies Home videos. Aren't they just wonderful?

Post titles. Mostly the one's without any format or caps, and the ones with thoughtful names.

Panera Bread. Ohmygoodness. Please tell me someone else has had the splendid cinnamon crunch bagel with hazelnut cream cheese? It's a must have. Please go get one. Now. Really.

History. My teacher is great. Really, he's spectacular. It's not that he's really funny, or something that just makes you like him without the teaching; it's that he's thorough and I learn a lot.

Youth group. This one's pretty much self explanatory. Especially if you're in my group, then you really understand. Great things are happening there. Including nine square!

Homework. (just kidding about this one.)

Passion Conferences. Look it up. They're so outstanding. I really want to go to one when I am 18.

You! Love you, my followers. Happy belated Valentine's Day!
~Believer in PRTC

To "My Man" (and others who relate.)

2011-02-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

Dear the guy I will marry (eventually),
Please do not propose to me at a place where I can't set my elbows on the table. I do know places like that have good food and all, but really, I would much prefer a place with lots of bright colors and creativity. Oooooo, and please have Chinese food included somehow. Maybe coloring books too, or a trampoline while it's night time. Pictures are a must, and fun shall be included. I do love water, waves and pretty sunsets. Fuzzy or knee high socks, gummy bears, pajamas, guitars, movies, and singing, all make me smile from ear to ear. I hope these are helpful pointers for you. One more thing, I don't want the typical "fortune cookie engagement". Please, I know that if you and I are getting engaged, I'm sure that you will understand this by now. I have a quirky personality, but I'm sure that we'll laugh often about it.
Well, that's about it. I'm glad we talked about this. (Or I just talked about it.)
~Believer in PRTC
p.s. No worries, I'm no where close to this. I just kind of was laughing as I thought about it and decided to write it down, then post it.

An update on, well everything.

2011-02-08T19:07:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm here. Posting finally. I've been that kind of un-busy where you avoid your computer for a long time and do all sorts of other things. Which may include.

Painting a bookshelf. It's rather dandy. I'm painting all of the panels a different picture. The very top one right now it a pretty sun/tree sponge paint picture. The outer side has a parrot on it. Other then that the rest of the book shelf is still white.

Playing in the crazy amounts of snow and ice. I'm still not sure how much snow we ended up getting. (Not to mention it's a snow day for me and it's STILL snowing. It's rather pretty snow though. It's sparkling in the sunlight.) But I know that we got lots and lots of ice. Which then made it fun to go over to Katie and Anna's house and go sledding for a few hours. Thanks guys!

Having two extra brothers for a week. Our friends Alex and Collin came over while we had our enormous amount of snow days. Alex and I have been friends since I was pretty much born, and I know Collin from my old church/school. (By the way they're brothers if you didn't pick up on that). Alex and I had our share of fun by making Spaghetti and Waffles. Yes, together. If you guys have never read the book Guys are Waffles and Girls are Spaghetti by Chad Eastham I totally recommend it. Great book! I'll post pictures of the epic event in a later post because I haven't gotten them on my computer yet.

Kelsey passed away on Wednesday at 5:17. Thank you guys for all the prayers. She is finally healed now. It's what she wanted. Even if the cells took, it would have never healed her completely. But now, she is. I think shes happy to see God, even though it sometimes isn't easy without her. It's what she would have wanted. Keep praying for Karly though. She has to go through the same thing sometime. The memorial service is on Saturday. If you would like to go, it's open to anyone. Just let me know and I will give you more info. (Keep in mind that it is in Indiana.)

Giveaway from the Daybook! I would totally LOVE to win this. You should enter too! Go here.

Kazakhstan is coming! As some of you know, my brother and I are planning on taking a trip to go there this summer. There's a link on my sidebar (or will be soon) where if you would like you can donate. More importantly though, if you guys could pray for us in raising support, and getting to know our team better, it would be appreciated. Thanks!

Thats all for now!
~Believer in PRTC

PLEASE PRAY!

2011-01-31T20:21:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for Kelsey. We need another miracle.
Read here.
thanks guys!
~Believer in PRTC

Oh Wisdom Teeth...

2011-01-28T20:30:00.000-08:00

I figured I should enlighten you on the moments of my misery so that we may all enjoy and laugh.

On the way home from just having goten them out, my Dad stopped to get me a vanilla shake from McDonald's. I asked him to get me a spoon instead of a straw because I'm not supposed to have a straw. (Really, it was a miracle that even that came out of my mouth and made sense.) After I got the shake and the spoon, I pealed the plastic off it and stuck that spoon all the way down into my shake. Then I attempted to drink from it. I just couldn't figure out why it wouldn't work. Lesson learned, you can not drink from a spoon.

Before me trying to drink from my spoon, I wanted to take my cherry off the top and throw it out of the window. I scooped it off the top, and rolled down my window. To throw it out, you know how you normally just tilt it a little and fling it outside? Well...my body didn't work too well with the little bit of my brain that was working. I turned it upside down while still in the boundaries of my lap, the cherry ker-plunked onto my jean leg, and with what little fling I had, some of it got on the car mirror. My dad just laughed, really hard.

While we were in the car, still driving, Dad asked me if he could take a video of me. My reply?
"Dad, I know where we are." Said in a voice with excessive whining. My Dad reassured me that he wouldn't take any, and he didn't. But, no later then five minutes later I asked.
"Dad?"
"Yes honey?"
"Where are we?" I can't even remember what he said. But I'm pretty sure he laughed.

Hope you guys had a good laugh at this!
Love you guys!
~Believer in PRTC

Creations of Beauty a la Ali.

2011-01-23T11:06:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling creative lately.

This is my door. Katie and Anna came over last night. We splattered. (Don't tell me that word isn't witty when used as a verb.)

I made cupcakes that look like minions from Despicable Me. Aren't they adorable?

This is one of the many creations that I've made with those little magnetic earth balls or whatever you call them. These things are so cool. They're strangely addicting.

Coolest Chip bowl ever! You do this, then...

Cover it with black paint. After it's dry, you take off the yarn and the color shows through. It's so pretty.

This isn't anything I created, but I think it cool. Anyone else ever seen a heart shaped nerd?

Sorry about the quality of these photos I took them all with my phone. Hope you're having a great Sunday!

~Believer in PRTC

These are a few of my favorite things

2011-01-19T19:57:00.000-08:00

There are always those weekends with your friends that are unforgettable. This was one.

Paradise Falls (painted by yours truly and her best buds).

Beautiful Anna :) Isn't she gorgeous?

I really like this picture.

Katie and I love books. This is what happens when shes gone all summer and we can't trade books. ha :)

Well, that was my weekend! How was yours?

*I wrote this post a few days ago, but realized that I just hadn't posted it yet. Haha.

~Believer in PRTC

Tis the Season

2011-01-11T14:09:00.000-08:00

It's snowing! It feels like it should be Christmas, but my mind doesn't know why it isn't. It's a rather funny thing. Whenever my bright Chucks step into the snow and my feet get wet, I think I'm stepping into a world of fluffy ice cream. Which reminds me, my brother and I are soon to cross off another thing off of my bucket list.
Eat a bowl of ice cream while sitting in the snow.
I shall post picture after the epic event takes place to give you proof of it. I am very excited.
In other news, I'm finishing up "Pay it Forward". Great movie. I totally recommend it if you haven't seen it. It has a few bad parts in it, but just used the fast forward button, and you won't miss a thing!
Hope you're having a great week!
~Believer in PRTC

Paperdoll Party and Giveaway!

2011-01-10T13:40:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! Head over here to check out the party and sign up for the giveaway!
Head here to see the beautiful miss Katie's blog. (which I highly recommend.)
If you're one of those cool people who have a Tumblr go here to find miss Katie's.
Or, the new one to Tumblr aka me, here.
Even the wonderful writer (and author of the book, Paperdoll), Natalie, has a blog right here.
I am SOOOO excited about this party, and giveaway!! It's you guys who make it possible.
I love you, followers,
~Believer in PRTC

Tis my room.

2011-01-08T21:55:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my room...

My bead curtains. They block no sun, and don't match anything in my room, but they're pretty.

This is my wall filled with notes, pictures, funny things, and things I miss and love. It's my favorite.

It's the pick that I got from Mike Donehey two years ago. It excites me every time I see it.

The poster that I very very sadly didn't get to have signed because we had to leave early.

Coolest poster ever. Sadly, these guys aren't together anymore. They guy in the red is on of my friends that I talk to often though.

My pumpkin defuse, it smells SO good, but I can't find it again until Thanksgiving.

This is the mess of my room. My guitars, music stand, posters, and note the stack of books to the right that I have yet to read.

My keyboard that I don't play very much anymore.

They're awesome. I got to meet them.

Karly and I.

My random wall. Love my red superman cape! One of my friends from my old school has the batman one.

This is me...standing.

At 2 am, my dog wasn't phased by all the picture taking.

This is my Bible. I feel like I underline everything that I read.

This is a great book! You need to get it!

Another book that I got for Christmas, Denise Hunter is an awesome writer.

That's my room!

~Believer in PRTC

The Day Before

2011-01-04T15:15:00.000-08:00

Bucket List item #49.
Go to (a name of a school that I start attending tomorrow).
When did this happen?
I'm kind of excited.

Giveaway Winner!!!!

2011-01-03T10:29:00.000-08:00

Congrats Little Fairy from The Inkwell, you won!!!!!
Leave a comment with your address and I will send it out ASAP! Thanks to everyone else who entered too! Come back later for the next one :)
~Believer in PRTC

Just the Way You Are

2011-01-02T12:50:00.000-08:00

"Stay beautiful, my love."

He liked to tell me this all of the time. He knew that I despised being called beautiful. I don't see how this idiotic mess could be even remotely beautiful. He tilted my chin up to look into his bright blue eyes.

"I wish I had eyes like that." I thought.

"Why don't you believe me?"

The question was blunt. He had never asked me why before. He didn't know the secrets that existed behind the walls surrounding my heart. No one knew. It would be such a disgrace to everyone. He probably wouldn't even talk to me anymore. The thought of losing all I had worked so hard for, didn't sound appealing. His finger traced my jaw ling drawing my attention back to him and his nagging question.

"No reason." I told him.

I looked down, feeling the guilt of the lie linger in my chest. He clutched my hand and led me to the couch in his room. He sat down on the left side of the black couch, while I sat closely to him on the right. My knees pressed into his thigh, with my feet tucked under me, and my head towards him.

"Please tell me the truth." His eyes held compassion while he searched for any hint of surrendering to an answer. "I'm not going to hurt you in any way, and you know that. Please, just trust me."

"How?" I asked.

"How what?"

"How can you trust when there's so much hurt in the world?" The concept of trust was always hard to comprehend.

"You can't always. I guess that's just why you find the ones that are worth suffering for, and go from there."

"Why is it that way?" I asked him.

"If there wasn't any hurt would we ever learn?"

"No I guess not..." I let my voice tail off.

"You're beautiful." He told me, again.

"Will you please stop saying that?"

"Why?" His crooked smiled shone through the question.

"I don't like it."

"Come on." He got up and led me to his parents gigantic master bedroom. I was surrounded by dull gray-blue and white walls. Distracting me, he tugged on my arm and drew my attention to a full length mirror that I was standing in front of.

"Go ahead." He told me.

"What in the world are you wanting me to do?" I was kind of getting frustrated that he was making me do all of this.

"Just say what you're thinking." He stood to my right, arms crossed, watching me.

He wasn't going to budge on this.

I "humph"ed and glared at the projection of myself. My hair is frizzy and a gross darker shade of blond. It never laid flat, and it never curled right.

"My hair." I stated, not amused.

"I like your hair. I love it's color and how it isn't always straight or curly. It's in between."

"I'm not going to do this if you're going to comment about everything I say."

"Then can I tell you what I see?" He asked me.

I nodded slightly, annoyed that he was going to do this.

He walked over and stood right behind me. His hands were placed gently on my shoulders, and he made eye contact with me in the mirror.

"When I see you, I see a person unlike many others. This wonderful girl has unique hair that is gorgeous no matter how it is worn. Her eyes are such a bright sky blue. I could stare at them all day. Her face is perfectly round with a cute nose. Her body fits her perfectly. She isn't big, but she isn't tiny either. She's shorter then me, which is the way I prefer it to be. Shes stylish, smart and beautiful, and I don't want her to change." He smiled at me through the mirror.

"I don't know what to say." I told him. It was sweet, but I couldn't be sure he was right.

"Then don't. Trust me though. Believe me. Only you can fix your thoughts. All I can do is influence them." He left and walked out of the room.

I picked at a strand of hair, and twirled it around my finger.

I like your hair. I love it's color and how it's never straight or curly. It's in between. His words echoed through my mind. You are beautiful, my love.

"Could he be right?" I thought. My mind wasn't focusing. Maybe this truth that I had believe so long was a terrible lie.

No sooner were my thoughts interrupted by a gentle piano medley. Knowing there was no one else in the house other then him and I, and he played piano well, I knew that it was him.

I followed the sound into their music room. A keyboard and amps stood against the wall to the left. Guitars lined the wall in front of me. And there was a grand piano on the right wall, setting on top of a stage. The room was black and white, making the it have it's own personality. He sat on the piano bench of the grand piano. He had stoped playing when he noticed that I walked into the room. He stood up and motioned with his hands for me to come and sit next to him. I walked across the floor, my Chucks making a soft squeak each time I stepped. I looked down until I got the edge of the stage and almost fell while climbing up the stairs and onto the stage. I situated myself next to him and looked at him.

"I want to play a song for you." He told me.

I nodded, signaling for him to continue.

He started playing an upbeat, faster paced song. Before I knew it the speakers lit up and started playing music. I blushed, feeling like a little girl getting serenaded.

"Oh her eyes, her eyes,

Make the stars look like they're not shining.
Her hair, her hair,
Falls perfectly without her trying.
She's so beautiful,
And I tell her every day.
Yeah I know, I know,
When I compliment her,
She wont believe me.
And its so, its so,
Sad to think she don't see what I see.
But every time she asks me do I look okay,
I say,
When I see your face,
There's not a thing that I would change.
Cause you're amazing.
Just the way you are.
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile.
Cause girl you're amazing,
Just the way you are."

My eyes filled with water as I put my hands over his hands to make him stop playing. The music from the speakers was still playing in the background as he said with a crooked smile on his face,

"What's the matter? Do you not like Bruno Mars?"

I leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"I believe you." I told him. For the first time I could remember, I felt good about myself.

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed, "Good, because you're beautiful, my love."

Hope you liked it! Let me know :)
~Believer in PRTC

Tag, I'm it!

2010-12-30T20:02:00.000-08:00

Eldarwen tagged me for this post! Thanks girl!

"Pick your favorite musical artist/movie star/famous whoever -- and post a picture (or two, or three, or four) of him, and what it is about him that you love, and what it is about him that you might hope for, for whoever God has planned for you for your future."
Michael Donehey- lead of Tenth Ave. North.

What is it that I love about him? I love his music. His songs are learning experiences for me. They teach new concepts and ideas. He went to a christian school his whole life, which is nice to know that there is hope for someone who has been there and done that. I think that's why his songs always hit home for me. You learn a lot in a Christian school, and I think he's used that and incorporated it into the songs. I've actually talked to the guy once. It was when I was in Alabama for Student Life 2009 (which is the coolest thing ever.) They were going to put on a concert, and I got to go right on up and talk to the band. I still have his pick from the concert. It was very exciting.

I hope for being silly and having fun. I hope for seriousness that develops into deep and meaningful conversations. I hope for joy, and love. I hope for God to be the center of all relationships. I hope for ways to help people know Jesus. I hope for Jesus to be a must to survive. I hope for Him to be everything.
This is how I picture him being like. Since I can only assume, I gave this more from my perspective.

Whoever God has planned for my future. He's married. I'm not one of those people who fan girls (who knew that could be a verb?) on someone who is married. But, I love that he has a family and that his family means a lot to him. I'm his friend on facebook (yeah, I know, way to be a stalker Ali.) and he has these pictures posted on there that are of him, his wife, and his daughter. I love that I can easily assume that he's a family guy. He's bold. I love it when people become "famous" and they tell people what they believe in. It's admirable.
I almost did Francis Chan on this, but decided not to because of this article. I still completely admire who he is and what God is challenging us to do through him.
Enjoy!
~Believer in PRTC

ps- You should sign up for my giveaway!! (If you haven't already.)

oh Christmas memories

2010-12-23T09:24:00.000-08:00

When I was younger...

Every time that we go a lot of fresh, new snow my brother and I would be going ballistic. We would wake my Dad up (Most of the time Mom worked the weekends when these shenanigans happened.) on a Saturday morning, and we would tell him that it had snowed. After he eventually woke up, we all would go and get those cheap, awesome plastic cups that you get for free when you eat off the kids menu at restaurants, and we'd hand them to Dad. Dad would then face the cold weather and go and fill out cups up with snow. He would set them on the table, and bring over the Tang. We would then proceed to pour the Tang over our snow and then eat it. It was marvelous orange snow.

We would never wake up early for Christmas when we were younger. One year my brother and I got woken up by my Mom and Dad around 8:30. We were not awake. My brother, without saying a word, went and got his pillow and blanket and brought it out to the couch and tried to back to sleep (as a 5 year old). But eventually we opened our presents and all was good.

Every year we make our own tree ornaments.

Notice the expert paint job

These ones are cool.

Who said watermelons can't be Christmasy?

My brother's Christmas eel.

My Jellyfish

I made Santa :)

My cat's homemade toy.

What holiday traditions or memories do you have?
I'd love to hear!
~Believer in PRTC

GIVEAWAY! :)

2010-12-21T21:19:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! My giveaway is starting! This happens to be my 101th post :) I'm starting the giveaway now, and it will end on Jan 1, 2011. Which is also the date that I started my blog, a year ago.

Since I know you guys all looked at the picture first, it's not as surprising by the time you've read this.
But I'm giving away a small "hot chocolate" notebook, a Papermate Expressions pen, and the Newsboys' new CD- Born Again. (Which I highly recommend, it's great. My mom has it.)
Here's how you can win:

1. Follow my blog. 1 entry
2. Blog about it yourself and leave the web address please! 1 entry
3. Tell me your favorite book you've ever read. 1 entry
4. You already follow me you say? Congrats, you get another entry just for that. 1 entry
5. Tell me the best and worst Christmas gift you've ever received. 1 entry.

Please leave whatever of these you do in a comment.

Thanks you guys! I'll have the winner posted as soon as I can after the giveaway ends. Then you can just comment your shipping address (which will only go to me, and will NOT get posted or given away.) when you win and I'll ship it out asap!
~Believer in PRTC

"I want to hold your hand..."

2010-12-20T08:14:00.000-08:00

I'm listening the the many 219 tunes of the Beatles that my father brought home for my brother and I. I don't know if it's like this for many people, but I feel like a little girl again. I'm reminded of the times when I was in our old station wagon (which I loved) listening to the oldies radio station. I could sing almost every song that was played by the time I was 8. I still am very proud of this.
Then I hit 10. A new phase in the oldies. My Dad started quizzing us on who the artist were. Whether it was CCR, Rev. Al Green, Carly Simon, Stevie Wonder, The Beatles, The Doors, Earth Wind and Fire, The Who, The Monkees, or one of the many others, I was pretty good at it. I would sit in the back on the left side (I know it was that spot because those seats our the exact same now a days. I'm always on the left and Zach, my brother, is always on the right. Neither of us are allowed to ride shotgun because we used to fight about it. Now we have just done it ever since.) and listen to "You're so Vain", which was one of my favorites back then, on the way to school. The problem came when I would walk into my Christian school and begin singing it. I find it funny that I, as preschooler, was serenading my classmates to "You're so Vain".
My favorite was when I hit the age of twelve. We had a CD with the oldies on it. My favorite song you ask? "I'm a Believer" by the Monkees. I was in gymnastics at the time and we had a spacious house that (Thank you Jesus) had carpet. My friend and I would put it on as loud as whichever babysitter would allow, and do gymnastics routines to it. It was a blast.
All this to say, I have a Beatles shirt that I wear. Until people started asking me about them I had never really looked into anything other then their music. I always feel silly when people ask me about them and I don't know squat.
This is changing now though. I have been reseaching them and doing my homework. So thanks John, Paul, George, and Ringo for your brilliant music and my favorite t-shirt.
~Believer in PRTC

a secret to tell

2010-12-07T13:35:00.000-08:00

Having a secret that you get to tell everyone is very fun. The sad part is if people are disappointed in the means, but for the most part, it's great. I've been spending these past few weeks silently dropping little things here and there letting my friends know first what is happening. Then I told some people in my small group (Bible study), then my youth group. But I still have yet to tell everyone at my school...

I'M CHANGING SCHOOLS!
Wohoo! :) I'm super excited. Going from my "Christian" school to a public school sounds so exciting! Not to many people totally understand the main reason I want to change. I will do my best to explain, but if you don't get it, then I ask that you'll just pray for me as I leave my memories, and start new.
I want to love. That's pretty much it. I'm ready to help other people encounter a life changing love that will hold them. My youth group plays a big part in this. Every Wednesday we take a bus there to pick up students who want to come. Then we take them back afterwards. My youth group isn't something I'd call normal, we have a uniquiness that isn't found very many places. I'm not saying that to brag, at all. The thing is, I can almost gaurentee that once they are there they will eventully come back. I think that would help things be successful. I can't wait to start something big and new there. I know that the FCA (fellowship of Christian athletes) there is struggling right now, and I would like to try and help.
I know that these are big ambitions, but it's my heart. I know people will and can be mean, but God loves them, aren't I supposed to?
Prayers would be appreciated. I start the first week of January.
~Believer in PRTC
ps. Pray for a miracle... Kelsey

oh, titles, who reads them anyways?

2010-11-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

I remember about a year, maybe two, ago that my pastor got up on the square, wooden stage. Figuring that it would be another good sermon that I would remember for a week or two, then forget, I didn't really pay attention.
Until he played a video.
This video to be exact. It messed with my head. It still messes with my head. Is Guitar Hero really that important? What is it that makes our private selfishness unleash itself? I just can't figure it out.
A few nights ago, the lead singer from Tenth Ave. North (I love their music) posted "I've decided that consumerism poses a far worse threat to the American church than witchcraft."
Is this true? That same day our pastor showed that video, he told us that the same amount of money that Americans as a whole spend on Christmas would be enough to take care of all of the water problems in the world.
WHAT?!
That completely freaked me out. I'm blessed, more then I know it. But, have I really missed that I could be doing more? When I begin thinking about this, I want to start something bigger, that would help people. Then, I start thinking about how much work that would actually be, and how I'm still a teen...I don't want to be another number though, I want to help people.
This is most likely a lot of mumbo jumbo thrown together, but it's my thoughts in some way.
I'm getting up at 2:30am to go shopping (it's a tradition) but I promise not to fight over any guitar hero sets :)
~Believer in PRTC

Part 2 is here :)

2010-11-20T09:52:00.000-08:00

Sorry 'bout the delay! Was rather busy lately, but I'm good now. Enjoy!
Read the first part here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m not the same anymore.” I wanted to warn him he was getting in over his head.

“Neither am I.”

I stared at him. “Of course not, you idiot, but you still have God, you still have this.” My hand motioned to the church.

“You don’t?”

“Well, no. Duh. I’ve messed up to much. I can never come back.” It sounded sappy and unconvincing.

“Do you want to?”

I didn’t see that coming. I just stared at him. He rose one eyebrow and shared a questioning look.

“Would you like to at least look inside?” Kindly, he asked. “To see how it’s changed since you’ve been here?”

I can do this. I nodded.

We both got out and met at the front of my slug bug where I stood frozen on the sidewalk. Staring, I remembered all of the life changing moments I had here. The times at youth retreats where I worshiped God. The moments where I had made friends, and laughed. At least there weren’t any people walking out that I remembered. He placed his hand on the small of my back and nudged me to move. We walked up the stairs and to the beautiful entryway.

Wow, this has changed a lot.

The crimson red that used to paint the walls was replaced with a deep, majestic purple. There was a small coffee bar on the right, and a little courtyard with chairs and tables in front of it.

He led me into the auditorium that I had seen every Sunday, until recently, since I was little. The soft, blue chairs all in rows from the front to the back lined the large room. Then, of course, there was the same pulpit that there was when I was younger standing at the front and center of the stage, with guitars, a keyboard, and a drum set in the background. Movement at the front of the stage caught my eye.

“Pastor George…” The whisper unexpectedly came out of my mouth.

Mac heard me and followed my gaze. “Hey Pastor George, want me to lock up today?”

“Yeah, sure! That’ll be gre- “Pastor George stared at us for a second, then tilted his head and squinted.

“Elle?” He questioned. “Is that you?” Excitement over flew the question.

I nodded, silently, feeling guilty for not keeping in contact with the guy for so long.

The aged preacher practically sprinted down the center isle and enveloped me in a bear hug.

“It’s so great to see you Elle! I’ve been praying for you for so long, I knew God was going to bring you by here sooner or later!”

Mac was practically choking while trying to hold in his laugh after seeing my surprised face.

“Here Elle,” He handed me his contact card, “lets catch up sometime soon.” With that he winked at me, murmured something to Mac and walked out of the door.

“Still, years later and he still gives me that gigantic hug. You would have thought that I might have outgrown it.” I told him.

“Never.” He walked forward up the isle, leaving me to observe.

“I’m enjoying your sympathy.” I told him as he picked up an acoustic guitar and sat on the stairs leading to the stage. He looked at me and patted the spot next to him.

“Please don’t make me do this.” I told him.

“I’m not going to make you do anything. I just would like you to sit by me.” He showed that easy-going smile.

I shook my head, denying his request.

“Soot yourself.”

He started strumming on the guitar and quietly singing while I was looking around.

Everything looked about the same. The color, chairs, pulpit, and cross.

That cross.

I stared at the icon standing at the front of the church. I hated that stupid thing. I felt so much shame, so much guilt. I wanted to feel free like I did when I was a teen. Feel loved from the people who went here. I wasn’t even sure I could be loved again. Genuinely loved, that is. I looked up at Mac. He had his eyes closed, still playing the instrument, but looking like he was at peace. I couldn’t make out his words, but wanted to hear what was keeping him so focused.

“Will you sing louder?” I could see that he was slightly embarrassed when he noticed that I was looking at him.

“Nope, you have to come sit up here, I guess.” Reasoning was always his strength. He continued playing, completely enveloped in his worship.

I wandered up there, but stopped at the bottom of the stage.

“Mac, I’m not, I- I shouldn’t be here. It’s not where I belong.” It forcefully came out.

“Why?” He stopped everything and turned his attention to me.

“I’ve messed up so much. I’ve done things I shouldn’t. I used to know right and wrong, but I always did the thing I hated the most. I regret so many of my actions. I-” I had made my way up the stairs and felt the lit-up cross mounted on the wall. Silently, I cried. I had never felt so taken advantage of in my life. So many people told me that they loved me, but none of them met it. None of them lasted. The place that had loved genuinely had lasted. Why had I been so stupid to leave?

“Haven’t we all?” I could hear him quietly walking up behind me.

“I-” Swallow. Mac will only help you. “ I can’t change this though. I’m trapped in a world I don’t want. People have hurt me. Someone has hurt me. He is hurting me.”

“What’s happened Elle?” His voice was stern, defensive.

“I was stupid.”

“Elle, what has this guy done to you?” He placed his hand on my shoulder, causing me to look at him. Tears streamed down my face. I had done so well at keeping everything a secret. I took my sleeves and pulled them up one at a time, revealing bruises of all sizes and colors.

“He hurts me. If I don’t do what I’m supposed to. I was stupid, and left a I had written to you letter out.”

“What did it say?“ His face was as hard as stone.

“I was trying to write you, to tell you that I was going to escape from him. It, it explained everything. He found it…” My voice trailed off as muffled sobs came out.

“No, no…you’re safe.” Mac wrapped his arms around me.

“Mac…” I tried to push, away. I can’t let him end up hurting himself. “I’m pregnant.”

“I will protect you.” He told me, adamant. He wouldn’t let me go. I could feel his tears on the back of my neck. I let myself feel loved for the first time in a long time. I finally wasn’t alone.

~

Two years had passed since that day. I could remember it like no other day in our lives. Mac and I were married standing in that same spot a little over a year later. The sweet spot of redemption had held a special place for us. We now have a beautiful son named Nathan, meaning gift of God. Our small family shared love like no other. Though, we had our problems when Nathan’s dad had tried to enter the picture again, Mac kept his promise. God kept His promise. The sweet redemption of Christ saved our beautiful dreams.

A Story, Part 1

2010-11-07T18:48:00.000-08:00

She sat in her soft-yellow slug bug pounding the steering wheel. Tears came down her face as she watched the people file out from the church. All of them were so happy. She remembered being one of them, much to well. She hated the memories that were happiest here. Her childhood had lived and breathed here. Ever so slowly though, in her teen years, she started drifting away from the people who kept her there. After she graduated from high school, she attended the state university. There she had felt freedom like she never had before. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the steering wheel. There were so many things she regretted from her decisions. Now, she came to the only place where she had felt love and couldn’t even bring herself to go inside. All the shame and guilt held her in her seat. She wasn’t worthy of any type of love. She wondered what she was even doing here; it was a stupid idea to come.

~

“Elle? Is that you?”

Oh, please go away. I thought.

“Elle?” He knocked on the drivers-side window.

“Go away.” I said.

“Come on Elle, it’s me, Mac. Remember? I haven’t seen you in forever

The way he said it made him sound like he was pleading for some sign of my excitement. I looked up at him, still secluded in the safety of my car.

“What happened Elle?” He loudly demanded after seeing my face.

I put my finger to my mouth to hush him. I didn’t want anyone else to know I was a pathetic wimp who was crying in my car.

“Want to come inside and talk?” Now, more sincere he pointed to the church.

I shook my head. I couldn’t go into a place that reminded me of my failures. I watched him as he walked around to the passenger side of my car and tried to open it.

“Unlock the door, Elle.”

Fear flashed in my eyes.

“I promise, I won’t hurt you.” his eyes held compassion and questions.

Slowly, I reached my hand out and touched the unlock button. He opened the door and situated himself in the passenger seat. He looked at me and smiled.

“It’s been forever.”

I nodded.

“What happened Elle?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Calm, cool, and collected.

“Come on Elle, we were best friends back in youth group. We used to tell each other everything. You can trust me…” He held his breath and hoped for something more.

Failure. Screw up. I shook my head, another wave of tears about to force themselves out. I pounded my steering wheel with my hands. My heart told me yes, my brain told me no.

“Elle, why did you come back? What has happened? Why are you so afraid? I want to help you.”

“You can’t help me Mac. I’ve messed up to much.” I whispered. I felt the cold touch of his hand on my tightly grasped fist.

“Nothing you can do or say will make me leave without helping you. I’m guessing that’s why you came here.” His hand covered mine and gently grasped it.
I looked at him. Sternly he kept eye contact with me and said, “I will not hurt you.”

I sighed. So many secrets that were held and watched so closely over the years were about to rush out as fast as Niagara Falls...
~
Did you guys like it? I'll write more in my next post!
Let me know what you think.
~Believer in PRTC

Has it Really Been a Year?

2010-10-31T12:36:00.000-07:00

Around this time marks a year for some major stuff that happened. Maybe I just like out of the norm things. I learned so much within this last year. It was a beautiful world of hurt that only pushed my closer to where I am now. Part of it, I regret deeply. Then again, I wonder if something different had happened, would I be here, right now telling you that I love where I am? Granted things were out of control (ha, when are they in control?) and hectic, but I've gotten through it. The feeling of being able to finally understand that our trials bring a unknown strength about us makes me wonder what other mountains I can take on. I'm undeceive about the pain that comes with the unknown, but when you get back up again you'll understand. You'll have the peace that passes all understanding. But don't wait to get back up, because you could easily miss something important. Believe in yourself, love who you are, and watch and wait for who you will become.
Love ya guys,
~Believer in PRTC
(BABIES!) ShaNe, Kt, Annnnnnnna :)

Verb.

2010-10-21T19:21:00.000-07:00

(not mine, thanks google)

LOVE by ali.

Love is a verb, an action.

Love is here all of the time.

John 15:12b (NLT) "...I love you"

Purple Rain and Talking Cows.

It's Not Growing Up Anymore-Chris Dennis

2010-10-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
This question has plagued me since I was little. Nervous as I was, some random, wacky job always seemed to come out of my mouth. Still, as a sophomore, I can't even help but freeze up when someone asks me this face-to-face. It's not that I don't know what I want to do, it's that I don't want to say it. I don't want to be responsible if I fail, when it really gets to the bottom of everything. I think I gave up the idea of succeeding in something, or anything, that I would do a while ago. I always felt my ambitions were to big. I've been proved wrong though, countless times...
When I was in 5th grade, I believe, I wanted to run an orphanage. My mother had asked me, and that's what came out of my mouth. A fifth grader, wanting to keep track of other kids. I couldn't even remember to brush my own teeth without being told. Two days later, mom heard on the radio that there was a need for orphanages, they needed more people willing to run them. Say what? My random blurted-out answer fulfilled a need. Now, I don't want to do this anymore, but at the time, I was all for it.
There was a guy from my church. His name (I'm having the hardest time putting was and not is) was Chris Dennis. I didn't really know him that well. I could probably could on my toes and fingers how many words I spoke to him. The most distinct memory I have with him is when he came and talked to our youth group. I don't even remember what he talked about. I was to busy judging him. Chris had ALS. When I met him he could barely talk. He was in a wheelchair and couldn't do to much by himself. As a 6th grader, that didn't really matter to me. I've learned differently now. But what mattered is that he came to tell people not to give up, not to let something knock them down without getting back up. The day he was diagnosed (at least this is the story I heard) he went back to track practice, like nothing had happened. He stood strong in his faith. His story amazes me every time I hear it. All stories seem to come to an end though. He had passed away while sleeping one night...To this day I haven't found why God took him, of all people. At the time, I didn't care about his story when he came and spoke to us. But the moment that impacted me most was when I heard about his funeral.

This is a picture from his funeral. There were too many pallbearers so there were 6 who carried him and the others had their hands on the shoulder of the person carrying Chris. It was in that moment, my character broke. I pleaded out for change. I needed to change. I wanted to impact people like Chris did. Such an impact that has lasted this long to the point where he's been in heaven for years and I am still searching for what he did that others admired him for so much. Now, when people as me this:

"What do you want to do when you grow up?"

Well, you know what-it's not growing up anymore to me. I find it's in the moment where I freeze up and can't search fast enough for an answer is the moment when God finds me and uses that moment for His glory and plan to shine through. I don't feel silly anymore when asked this question because now, my answer is...

I want to make an impact and change peoples lives forever.

I can't imagine leaving this world without being a Chris Dennis, or countless other people I admire for their boldness and strength.

That's who I want to be.

That's who I will be.

Chris's Blog

~Believer in PRTC

Marshmallows and Friend

2010-10-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

Katie and I had way to much fun :) Check out her blog.... Katie's blog.
I <3 my followers.
~Believer in PRTC

Divine Construction of Beauty

2010-10-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

If life were easy, wouldn't we give up faster then if it were harder, or to the extent that it is at right now? I think if it were easier then we would be more confused or stressed because sometimes we just wouldn't have a will to try hard enough to be motivated. What do you think? I think God balanced the world so perfectly that everything seems to be in a Divine construction of beauty.
Just my thoughts :)
~believer in PRTC

Real Love

2010-10-01T13:48:00.000-07:00

I finally found enough time and courage to blog about this...
"Blue like Jazz" by Donald Miller...

"There were aspects of christian spirituality I liked and aspects I thought were humdrum...I associated much of Christian doctrine with children's stories because I grew up in church. My Sunday School teacher had turned Bible narrative into children's fables. They talked about Noah and the ark because the story had animals in it. They failed to mention that this was when God massacred all of humanity...I felt as if Christianity, as a religious system, was a product that kept falling apart, and whoever was selling it would hold the broken parts behind his back trying to divert every body's attention. The children's story stuff was the thing I felt Christians were holding behind their back. It took me a while to realize that these stories while often used with children, are not at all children's stories. I think that the devil has tricked us into thinking so much of biblical theology is story fit for kids. How did we come to think the story of Noah's ark is appropriate for children? Can you imagine a children's book about Noah's ark complete with paintings of people gasping in gallons of water, mothers grasping their children while their bodies go flying down white-rapid rivers, the children's tiny heads being bashed against rocks or hung up in fallen trees? I don't think a children's book like that would sell many copies..."

I've read this part of the book over and over. My mind was spinning by the time I was finished. I hadn't even relized it. I was a Sunday School teacher. I had taught my class about Noah and the Ark, of course I left out that God took revenge on all of humanity in that moment of time. Then, I wondered how many other things that I had taken with complete acceptance, simply because someone told me it was that way, or because that's what everyone else believed.
I realized I had a problem.
Soon I started taking lots of things and giving them this little test on whether it were completely true or not. I found that I've said Jesus died for me so many times. I hadn't even realized it...The God of the universe sent His only Son, the only One there was ever going to be, and gave Him life so that He could die a painful and shameful death. For me. This one soul. At my very inmost core I am stamped with His love. A love that never fails, and never ends. Why did this stop blowing my mind away? Sure, I was raised in a Christian home, with Christians parents. Sheesh, I've even gone to a Christians school my whole life. But, if I don't figure out that the one and only Son of God has loved me so much, and died for me, even before I was born, won't every time I hear that statement I'll find the devil is tricking me into making that seem normal? Or as if I deserved it?
Wow. When did that happen?
1 John 3:16 "We know what real love is because Christ gave up His life for us."
~Believer in PRTC

You are You

2010-09-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

I love getting asked deep questions when I don't have to answer them out loud. I dislike being vulnerable and open. Something about the uneasiness of it scares me to the point of mistrust in a lot of people. I trust few around me. Sharing in a room full of people with their eyes burning through my skull attempting to pull out whatever secrets that linger in my brain doesn't sounds very appealing to me. Of course that's just me. That's who I am.
We all are somebody, our own somebody.
Love who you are, laugh at who you are. I pray you take your days with the utmost laughter and craziness in everything you do. Because who you are, all of the garbage, mess ups, hangups, talents, passions, and loves make you YOU. So why be someone else?
Just a little encouragement for you.
~Believer in PRTC

Mib

2010-09-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

He is here....and he's beautiful.

Meet Mib the mini with multi touch :) He's a little magical box filled with magical things.
I love him...
~Believer in PRTC

Winnie the Pooh Proverbs

2010-09-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

Dearest Winnie,
Have I ever told you that you are the smartest bear I know? I watched you everyday as a child, and was rather obsessed with your character. Episode after episode, it seemed you had some new sort of way to communicate the lessons I, as a kid, needed to learn in a fun way that made me want to do the right thing. Ten years later, I am still learning from you. All of your quotes that you have left me, remind me of your simple truths. Your "Winnie the Pooh proverbs" have shared with me these little bits of encouragement that help me through my toughest times. When I read what you said, a little smile spreads across my face with a memory of you as a child.
Thank you Winnie, for being you.

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day. Winnie the Pooh

A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference. Winnie the Pooh

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo. Winnie the Pooh

Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave. Winnie the Pooh

This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life. Winnie the Pooh

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you. Winnie the Pooh

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever. Winnie the Pooh
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known. Winnie the Pooh

Things are so much more grand and wonderful when your friends are there to share them. Winnie the Pooh

They're funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you're having them. Winnie the Pooh

~Believer in PRTC

Reoccurring

2010-09-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

I'm frustrated.
Hypocrites seem to be a reoccurring thing recently.
Sometimes I just want to tell then what they said a few months or weeks ago that contradict exactly what they're doing in that one moment. Then, I remember that all of us, as Christians, seem to have been hypocrites at one time or another. It's just so dang frustrating....
I promise a better post really soon, sorry I've been uber busy.
~Believer in PRTC

I Challenge YOU points

2010-09-17T12:57:00.000-07:00

I've written five posts. Five. You would think that I would find enough bits and pieces of things that I like in them and be able to scramble my thoughts together and write a sufficient blog post, but nothing has come. I've found words not able to help me be able to process anything lately. It could be that my brain is overloaded with "reaction thoughts", as I like to call them, about things that are happening around me. Things that aren't so great, things that are utterly confusing and take days to process, things that are happening that leave me in complete awe. So, with hope of getting all of this sorted out, I leave you a challenge.
Ask someone how they are doing this week.
When they say ok or fine...find out what they REALLY mean.
Be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a person to trust.
That's all I've got.
Till next time!
~Believer in PRTC

I can't wait!

2010-09-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

I'm getting one! I absolutely can NOT wait!!! I've been begging my Dad to take me to the Apple store to get one for the past few days. (Seeing as they're only there as of right now.) I'm trying my best to be patient, but they look oh. so. cool. The new iPod nano with multi-touch. Tehehehehehehehe, I love it.
Ta ta for now!
~Believer in PRTC

Father Knows Best "Success"

2010-09-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

First, I want to thank Ali for asking me to guest blog on her site. I appreciate that she thinks others might enjoy what I write.

I want to blog today on success. I said SUCCESS. I find that far too often people don’t understand what it takes to be truly successful. Most people believe they will be successful and yet they do not understand the basics of success. Here are a few points for you to consider if you want to be successful in anything in life.

Success requires that you are different.

Success requires that you live your life completely differently than anyone you know- doing things nobody else is doing. If the average student studies 2 or 3 hours then to be successful you should study 4 or 5 hours. Success is not doing what average people. Think about that a minute- Success is living an extraordinary life. Success requires that you sleep less, play less, work harder and dream bigger because you have chosen not to be average. When I was 22 years old I chose to work 5 jobs and slept every other night. It was a crazy attempt to be successful. It didn’t work-BUT what it taught me was how hard I could push myself. I could be different than anyone else I knew. I could work harder than anyone I knew. That lesson was invaluable later in life. I decided to be different for the rest of my life.

Success requires persistence.

What is the difference between a successful person and an average person? The answer is simple: A successful person gets back up one more time after a failure and does not let it stop them. It’s really that simple. What does it take to stop you? Learn to never give up. Your friends may laugh at you. You may feel like you simply don’t have the ability, the money, the skill, the intelligence or the desire but you do. I started dozens of businesses throughout my life-most were disasters – some were mildly successful but I never gave up. I continued to start businesses my entire life even though I lost money, sleep and lots of time. I gave up so many chances to play golf, go the movies, and simply hang out with my friends. Actually, now that I think about it… I gave up ALL of those things about 99.9% of the time. Now, I can truly say it was worth it.

Successes stack up like bricks.

Above I mentioned that I started multiple businesses and that most were failures. Even though some were not successful they still had elements that were successful within them. Most made very little or no money at all each time I learned something. The business as a whole may not have been successful but maybe I would learn a successful marketing plan or a successful price point or even a successful product or service. It was these little successes within failed businesses that I was eventually able to “stack up” to build a successful sustained business.

In conclusion, I want to tell everyone YOU can be successful. There’s no doubt in my mind. Success is a choice. You can choose right now not to live an average life, that you will never give up, and that you will stack your successes up and reach for your dreams. Dreams do come true.

Jeff is Ali’s dad & owner of a construction company. A national contractor for the several divisions of the federal government.

Hope you guys loved my Dad's post! Let me know if you have any questions, and I'll get back with some answers.
~Believer in PRTC

Pray

2010-09-02T18:07:00.000-07:00

I recently heard a sermon on prayer. When our pastor was giving it, in the back of my mind, I was skeptical. I wasn't sure how God could be please with our biggest, unspeakable, astounding requests. That He would be please when we keep asking because it honors Him. Remember the persistent widow? "One day Jesus told his disciples a story to illustrate their need for constant prayer and to show them that they must never give up." Luke 18:1. I still really can't grasp the concept that we bring joy to God when we pray, consistently. I don't know if I ever really will understand, but for now, I believe. I believe in God big enough to do miracles, and show us the things we are the most unsure about. I believe in healing...
Pray
Pray
Pray
Pray
Pray
PLEASE PRAY!

Karly and Kelsey are really close to our hearts in my family. *feel free to skip this part, it's very confusing* My brother is actually Karly's boyfriend. I was Karly's little kid best friend. (yeah, I totally got them together.) Kelsey is going out with my one of my brother's best friend's brothers. The My brother's best friend is Karly's brother. So needless to say,*start back here* our families are really close. Pray for the unexpected. Pray for complete healing. Please.
Pray,
~Believer in PRTC

p.s. my Dad is doing a guest post! The next one will be him. Come back and read :)

Broekn Surrender Continued

2010-08-31T23:00:00.000-07:00

It had been about 6 weeks since I had stopped. Finally, I was guilted into telling my youth pastor. I told him everything. Not just about that one matter, but each and every detail as to why and when and what I had for lunch even. The conversation lasted a hour and a half. I felt so ashamed, so stupid, so useless. But he accepted me with “youth pastor love”. No judgment, just advise and a way to process. Little did I know that was the beginning of healing. Healing that doesn’t seem to be taught, but learned. It’s the type that can only be done by God. The kind where He takes the old, and seals it with the new. I now didn’t have to surrender to the rain, or to my ways to cope. I had a new found thing to life for, who as I got a step closer, loved me even more. More then I could ever ask for…
How about a more happy ending? :)
Believer in PRTC

Broken Surrender

2010-08-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

My hands flew up in the air in a broken surrender. My day had been terrible, crushing, painful. The only relief I knew was the pouring down rain that washed away my tears. I twirled in circles as the drops fell one after another hitting my arms and head giving me a thrill of delight. I was surrounded by a forest on my left and right, a house in front of my, and a field filled with tasseled corn to my back. I fell to the ground and laid there in the wet grass letting the wetness soak into my hoodie and jeans. The stinging coldness of fall rain mixed with my warm tears. I closed my eyes listening to the pounding of the rain in sync with my loud heart beat. Life isn’t the same anymore. Just a month ago, everything was fine. At least it seemed that way. Now? Now life felt like a constant deepening pain that clung to my heart. Taking my life away, with one little slit of the wrist. At first, it was something new, just an attempt to feel something different. Then things started get out of hand. My world as I knew it came crashing in over my head and enveloping me into a sickening darkness…
Hope you liked it!
Believer in PRTC

To Save a Life (part 2) "Youth Pastor Love"

2010-08-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

First off, I'm very sorry for not blogging in a very long time. I have been busy with cleaning my room, school starting, and school camp. But now, I am back as a regular :)

To Save a Life, is one of my top 5 favorite movies. I completely and utterly LOVED it. The whole movie in general was outstanding, but I think my favorite part was *SPOILER ALERT* was any scene with Chris and Jake. I loved the youth pastor with teen relationship. I've always been drawn to that type of love. I go to a rather large and diverse youth group. My favorite nights are those when I just glance around and see a "Sea of Faces" (thanks Kutless) that all have different hurts, pains, and problems. (We have anyone from homosexuals to homeschoolers there are MKs and PKs. It's that different.) You see, thats the best part. I see them getting help by talking to a youth leader. People who I know have finally reached out for help. I completely am inspired by my youth pastors. They don't turn anyone away. They simply love. Made quite an impact in my life when I pin-pointed what that was. It's so much easier not to judge when you love others.
Youth Pastor Love is awe-inspiring isn't it?
I've got a good one for my next post, be sure to read!
~Believer in PRTC

To Save a Life (part1)

2010-08-19T17:49:00.001-07:00

Gah...this movie was the best. I loved it.

Why?

2010-08-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys! I'm actually at Katie's house right now, having probably the best sleep over ever. We've had so much fun. But, I'm updating this from their house because I am right now banned from my computer because my room is rather messy. (So says my Dad.)

Don't you love the stars?

It's so breath taking to lay outside and stare at them. Last night was the first time I had done so, for I think, my whole life. Katie, and (her sister, my friend) Anna, and I talked while looking at them. Something about them, reminded me of the song "On Fire" by Switchfoot.

"But everything inside you knows
There's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words."

If you couldn't figure that out, those are lyrics from the song. I was thinking. How many conversations have I had that seem to lead to no where? Those ones where I fight with someone, just because I want my way, or because I disagree on something. A year ago, last night, I had no idea what was up for me within the next year. I had such a terrible time with life hitting me in the face. My world fell apart. I had very hard time with friends, relationships, and figuring things out for myself. I had been taught wrong things, and I'm still asking my youth pastor questions by the buckets. Trying, so hard to find out reasons I believe this or that. I have found out a lot of the "answers" that I had been taught my whole life had been wrong. Very wrong. I feel like my trust in everyone sunk in the ocean where it wasn't able to be found again. Now, besides about four people, I'm leaning to figure out things that I believe on my own.

That's my challenge to you.

Think about what you believe, and why. Have you ever questioned what you believed? I have, obviously. A few weeks ago, I had a youth leader challenge me with this question- "Why are you a christian? What makes you different from people who believe other things? Why is it that you believe in Jesus, and that He is the only way to heaven?" That blew my mind. Growing up in a christian family, you don't get to much of choosing God for yourself. Which explains a lot of my confusion. I now have an answer to what he had asked me. So now I'm asking you..."Why are YOU a christian?"
Love to hear back from you guys, it makes my day! :)
~Believer in PRTC

A Sad Poem Until Monday

2010-08-12T19:02:00.000-07:00

Tonight is most likely the last time you will hear from me until Monday. I'm leaving for World Pulse tomorrow. (Yes!) Then on Sunday, drum roll please, I get to see my long lost friend Katie!!! I am so pumped! 82 days is such a long time when a best friend leaves for the whole summer and goes to the Middle East. Craziness. I leave you with a sad poem I wrote in my absence...

A flower blooms,
A beautiful girl stands.
A boy comes,
And takes her by the hand.
Soon before love becomes,
She finds a temptation she can’t withstand.
A petal falls.
She doesn’t understand.
This can’t be all.
This didn’t go like she planned.
A girl falls.
A petal is lost as she gives a piece away.
Her heart isn’t the same, to this day.

Talk to you guys on Monday, have a great weekend!
~Believer in PRTC

Indescribable

2010-08-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

What do you guys think? I have kind of just been messing around lately with about of graphics, and sort of liked this one.

(thanks Chris Tomlin for the lyrics)

Enjoy!

~Believer in PRTC

Findings

2010-08-10T15:55:00.000-07:00

I've recently been searching through my computer and finding bunches of stuff that I've written over the years. Just wanted to post a few of them :)

Ideas are actions

Like…
Knife is to wrist.
Like…
Pill is to mouth.
Like…
Gun is to head.
Like…
It’s too late.

Sometimes you can feel the wind.

You hold up your hand and let the cool rush lace through your fingers.
Standing at the highest point you can find.
You feel as if you’re going crazy.
That’s what everyone tells you.
You have no reason not to do this.
The wind changes directions.
You have to act quickly if you want to try.
Then you hear something.
It’s almost as if the rush whispers to you, but only loud enough that you can hear.
"Freedom"
The one little word causes shivers to envelop your body.
You raise your hands up, close your eyes, and jump.
Freedom awaits...

I saw your eyes and I couldn’t believe,

What I saw were two bight blue oceans.
But when I came closer it wasn’t water at all.
They were filled with a beautiful soul.
The soul was playful but lonely.
I came inside it.
And it took me in its arms,
As it led me to the middle of the ocean.
I met a girl.
She said she was prisoner of her soul.
So I took her out of the ocean,
And put her into my heart.
We both rested in the universe.
Only to live in peace and love.

Ta ta for now,
~Believer in PRTC

Just An Idea

2010-08-09T19:04:00.001-07:00

What would happen if we all lived and believed that truly, all we needed is Jesus? That as we go day to day, we didn't have to worry because we have a Savior who overcame death. Who finds us, forgives us, and loves us unconditionally. What would happen if we genuinely lived for Him? Fear would be gone. Faith would be p...resent. Nothing would matter except for Him. It would be a beautiful revelation...
Just my idea...
~Believer in PRTC

I've Been Tagged...

2010-08-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

I have been tagged!
Rules: answer the questions and pass it on to four others.
4 Things found in my bag:

My bag?? Um...I don't do bags until school. How about pockets? You will find.
1. Money
2. iPod and Headphones
3. Cell Phone
4. A Eiffel Tower key chain.

4 Things found in my purse:

1. My wallet.
2. iPod and Headphones.
3. Cow pen & eraser
4. My phone.

4 Favorite things in my room:

1. All of my quotes/song lyrics/stories that are hanging up on my walls.
2. My guitars
3. My keyboard with my flute on it.
4. Sheet music, guitar tabs, and songs I've written.

4 Things I’m currently into:
1. Waiting for Katie to be home!
2. Taking pictures :)
3. Writing music
4. Smelling my new book bag and drinking black gold (:coffee:).

4 Things I bet you didn't know about me:
1. I go to a christian, private school.
2. I love bright or neon colors.
3. I hate olives. (and yes, I was made to try one.)
4. I'm going to a concert on Saturday that will have TobyMac, Amy Grant, Kutless, Fireflight, Sidewalk Prophets, and Josh Wilson!!! I am way PUMPED!

I tag: A Hopeful Romantic, Jullian, Tyler, and Emily.
~Believer in PRTC

Terrible Thoughts

2010-08-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

My thoughts everyday seems to lead to something. I think about this one thing all day, and most the time if the idea sticks with me, I think about it almost everyday for weeks, or months. I've had quite a few that seemed to have clicked with me, but none like this special, certain one.This one I've thought about for a year, four weeks, and two days. Never has there been a day where the thought, reminder, or idea has haunted me since the night I heard about it. The fact that there are little girls everywhere that are being trafficked. Let me break that word down for you. Slavery. Trafficking is slavery. The fact that this happens completely appals me. These beautiful girls are being bought and sold. I can do nothing but regret that we as Americans can have such a terrible thing happening (mostly) on the other side of the world, and not even know about it. Some of these girls don't even come back. Some of them get killed before they even get sold again. Their life simple stripped of them. I'm saying this so you will know that this happens and pray for these girls. Please, please do.

http://www.love146.org/
Please pray.
~Believer in PRTC

Wedding Pictures!!

2010-08-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

This Wednesday I got the opportunity to take pictures for a wedding! It was my first time ever doing a wedding, but it was so much fun! Here are just a few of my favorites...

Nancy, the beautiful bride.

Greg, the "I'm getting married" pose.

Awww...

Bubbles :)

The aborable little 3 yr old

Hope you like them! Congrats Nancy and Greg!

~Believer in PRTC

Close to Death

2010-08-02T20:23:00.000-07:00

I've about died 2 times this week. Maybe I'm the only one who has found the strangeness in this, but it isn't every day that I inch close to death.

First occurrence: I was mowing close by the street and this car about ran over me! I luckily saw the car before it saw me and zoomed onto the grass just in time for the car to see me and swerve out of the way and then keep on going. First time this has ever happened to me. I felt like Mr.Carperson owes me and apology for about killing me.

Second occurrence: For those of you who don't know, we have two jet skis. Today our family went to the reservoir and took them out. After we were done messing around we loaded them up. Now there is this rope with a hook on it that keeps the jet ski from flying off the back of the trailer, that normally works just fine. But today the rope came untied and when we stopped the jet ski was about a foot off the back of the trailer and about to fall off.

Craziness!!!
Apparently I need to be more careful.
~Believer in PRTC

Not to much

2010-08-01T12:49:00.000-07:00

I don't like it when I have so much to say, and yet I have nothing to blog about. So for this post, have a cool video...

i heart revolution

That's all for now,
~Believer in PRTC

Groundhog Cantaloupe

2010-07-30T19:36:00.000-07:00

Almost exactly a year ago, I was chased by a groundhog while I was in the very back of our yard mowing. I completely freaked out. To this day I have always been a little jumpy around groundhogs. We seemed to have started out with one groundhog about a year or so ago. Then there were two. Now, we believe there are three. They all seem to share a certain trait. They are in love with cantaloupe. Rhine and all. They completely adore it.
We've tried and tried to catch them for a very long time. But today, today was a new day. We caught one of those big hairy suckers. One of the three has been bribed by cantaloupe, and has now relocated his home.

The big guy, or girl.

It had scary teeth

Ha, it looks like a pancake :)

"I'm watching you"

Dad getting it out of the truck.

Run groundhog run!

Be free :)

I hope this was a more happy post this time for those of you who said you about cried on my last post =]

~Believer in PRTC

Hopeless

2010-07-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

I hate the feeling of leaving somewhere that you left a little piece of your heart.
Dearborn. Dearborn,Michigan.
I love those kids. Those girls at the mosque, they aren't going to heaven unless someone shares God's love. That little boy, that was also named Ali. His huge blue eyes and curly brown hair made him unique, maybe God's going to use him someday. The lady who's husband got let go, and hasn't had any work for 10 months, they have four children who are all beautiful. That sweet girl at the mosque who always had a smile on her face, until she was centered out and made fun of. Whats going to happen to her self-confidence when she gets older?
Hopeless.
Hopelessness.
I'm devastated. They're so blinded by the Devil. But they just don't see it. They don't see that there is an opportunity for a relationship with God the Almighty.
Oh, but the power of Yahweh's name.
I pray He will do great things.
~Believer in PRTC

A Night at the B's House

2010-07-24T15:06:00.000-07:00

While at the B's house you will experience lots of things. But these are just three of my favorite things. (sang in a Sound of Music tone.)

One of my favorite(est) kittens, Lucie. Also known as Little Lu, and Chubbylumkins. But only I call her those names. Actually, shes the only one of a litter of four kittens that survived. But the only other one, besides Lucie, that I got to see was Azland. (Both named by me.) Azland was only seen for a day and a half. Sadly, the poor little guy-or girl, they were too young to tell-most likely died. Their momma, Poly, who is a stray, didn't have enough milk for them. Being the creative mom she was, she stashed both of the kittens on the roof, in the drop off to the gutter. I was actually the one who found Little Lu. She was still left on the roof when we had Azland. Poor little girl is about four months old and this small. But she is adorable. Her favorite thing to eat is pop corn, go figure.

Lucie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then, seeing as the B's haven't lived in the USA for their whole life, there is always LOTS of different types of food to try. This last time I got to try poffertjes. Yes, you may be confused. It took me about 10 minutes just to find the way to spell them. These things are like pancakes, but sweeter, smaller, and Dutch. The first picture is after flipping them over, and the second is after we drowned them in powdered sugar. They were oh, so. good. I would go live in Holland just for these things.

Waiting...

Oh so yummy.

(Sorry for these last photo's quality, they were taken with my phone.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Photo by Katie.

(Sorry Katie, I "stole" your photo.)

And last, but certainly not least. You find friendship. These three are pretty much family. Joseph (obviously the boy.) and I joke all the time, and without him, my blond moments would be a lot less embarrassing, but never would be as funny. Then there is Anna. Who I can beat in Slap Jack, and Cow Racing. We seem to always have our best moments when we are slap happy together around two or so in the morning. Then there is Katie, and all of you guys know her. She my best bud, my partner in evil shenanigans, my fellow photographer, and my bestest friend.They all love each other, even though Joseph won't admit it all the time. I love you all.

Thank you B's.

~Believer in PRTC

Three Weeks Minus One Day

2010-07-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

That's all that's all that left until my bestest friend Katie gets home :)

I can not wait!

~Believer in PRTC

2010-07-22T19:36:00.000-07:00

"I hear You say,

'My love is over. It's underneath.

It's inside. It's in between.

The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '

The times you're broken.

The times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.

The times you're hurting.

The times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache.

I'm there in the storm.

My love I will keep you, by My power alone.

I don't care where you fall, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.

It never ends'."

Tenth Avenue North

~Believer in PRTC

Stories

2010-07-21T22:34:00.000-07:00

I was inspired (Yes, at 1:10 in the morning) by Katie's blog post about stories. How often have I realized that I have a story. My own story. My story that's part of God's story. That's just one of the things that I re-learned at camp.
It's not MY story.
It's HIS story.
His story is way bigger then mine. My story is just the tiniest part of God's story.

I have a brother that I've talked about before. He has a story. His story is inspiring, and he's my roll model that I've learned so much from. He's so happy, even though his life hasn't been easy. Granted, he's not perfect, who is? He loves God. He doesn't follow other people, but is a silent leader. I love him.

Then there's my Mom and Dad. Both of them have come from "bad" pasts. Not because of things they've done, but because of things done to them or things that there families have done. No, they haven't forgotten but they have moved on. My Mom loves God, and so does my Dad. Even though life hasn't been easy, they both inspire me because they've overcome their past.

Then there is me. What is my story?
...my story. The fact that I have a story makes me think, and think hard.

Whenever I think story, I think of some kind of battle that has been won. A problem that gets fixed. Some one's past revealed, but still finds forgiveness in spite of the bad deeds that they did. There is all one thing in common with all of those ideas. Something bad happened until a thing was done that made things revolve into something better.
That's what all of my family's stories have done. They're all honoring God with them as well. So what am I doing?
What is my story?
~Believer in PRTC

30 days.

2010-07-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

For the next 30 days (actually 27 now) I will wake up and play Our Godby Chris Tomlin. A challenge set by Louie Giglio.
"And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what can stand against?"
~Believer in PRTC

Sometimes

2010-07-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder what I would have done without my faith.
Most of the time I ask why my faith isn't stronger.

Sometimes I can't help but be hurt.
But I try to love those who hurt me.

Sometimes I know I don't do the right thing, if fact I do the opposite.
Though, I am so glad that my God is a God of forgiveness.

Sometimes I feel so alone.
Then I remember, God is always there.

Sometimes, I question my belief in Him.
But He always reminds me that He's real.

Sometimes, I wonder why I'm not doing everything that I possibly can to make my faith stronger and grow closer to Him.
~Believer in PRTC

Wall-E

2010-07-13T07:17:00.000-07:00

I was watching Wall-E a few nights ago, with my family and some friends. As I normally seem to do, (only if I've seen the movie before) I started thinking. Throughout the whole movie what is the one thing that Wall-E wants?
Love.
Doesn't everyone want to find love though? I think there isn't anyone who doesn't want to feel wanted at some point and time, if not always. But doesn't love always come with hurt? One of my favorite quotes- “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” C.S. Lewis. I think I've used it before, but it's so true. God's love is the only thing we can cling to without our hearts getting broken. His perfect love.
I really have no clue why I'm pointing this out. Something inside of me, I guess.
Weird to think, I'll be gone when this is posted. :)
~Believer in PRTC

Student Life!!

2010-07-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

If you're reading this right now, I'm most likely on my way to Florida for a pretty amazing week! Student Life 2010 is here!! Louie Giglio is our speaker! Chris Tomlin is our worship leader!! And Matt Redman is going to be doing a concert!!! I will get to meet all three of these people!!!! :D I am SO SO SO pumped about this week! I mean, it's in Florida for Pete's sake! Daytona Beach here I come! I'll take lots of pictures to show everyone :) Have a great week everyone! I've scheduled a few post, so you might still hear from me. I am so excited!
Ta ta for now!
~Believer in PRTC

Serve Drama Team

2010-07-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

This skit related to my life, so well. The one on Thursday put me in tears. I have to give you a link, because the person who put them up blocked me from sharing them. Hopefully, you have a facebook, and are willing to check this out.

Serve Drama Team

Let me know if you can't open it.
~Believer in PRTC

Oh My, We're Related.

2010-07-07T14:27:00.000-07:00

I was glancing through some pictures and found this one.

Yes, tis my brother and me :) Funny day.

~Believer in PRTC

I Heart Faces : Teens Only

2010-07-06T12:44:00.000-07:00

Couldn't exactly decide which one to enter, but I settled on this one :) Enjoy!

Believer in PRTC

What Would I Say?

2010-07-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

Love146
what would you say?

Dear Love 146,

I heard about you almost exactly a year ago from today. J.R. was speaking about you at a camp in Alabama I had gone to. Immediately it brought back a story I had not wanted to be reminded of. As a matter of fact, I had gone to the camp that week to try and shake the story that I had been told previously. But I guess God sure does have other plans. I felt the need in my heart to find out more about you. Following the service, I walked straight up to our speaker, J.R.. I asked him, what can I do? Being 14, I felt like the little kid who doesn't know anything, and seems to always ask the silly questions. He told me more about you, and told me to go look at the website that was created for you, to try and save you. I thanked him. He told me later in our conversation that he was encouraged that I was willing. Willing to do something more. I'm so, so sad to hear that you haven't been found. My heart still breaks at the mentioning of you. I want to help, I want you to be found. I want slavery to be GONE. I wish you were able to live a life like I have. I'm so blessed, and sometimes I forget it. There have been other girls who have been saved though! All because of you. I wish you would have been saved. I hope that you're still alive, even. I want God to save you. I want you to know that God loves you. I want you to know, I'm not giving up. I am going to do whatever I can to try to help you, and others. Know that I've never forgotten about you since I've heard your story. I pray for you, I wish I could tell you that I love you, someone cares about you. You aren't someone who is worth nothing. There's a Man who died for you. Someone who loves you. Past, present, and future. Please. Please, know that there are people who are fighting, everyday, to try to find you. And to rescue girls, who are like you. I hope to maybe hear that you are safe someday, soon.
Sincerely,
~Believer in PRTC

Thought I'd Share

2010-07-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

WHEN A SOLDIER COMES HOME

....he finds it hard....

....to listen to his son complain about being bored.

....to keep a straight face when people complain about potholes.

....to be tolerant of people who complain about the hassle of getting ready for work.

....to be understanding when someone complains about a bad night's sleep.

....to be silent when people pray to God from a new car.

....to control his panic when his wife tells him he needs to drive slower.

....to be compassionate when a businessman expresses a fear of flying.

....to keep from laughing when anxious parents say they're afraid to send their kids off to summer camp.

....to keep from ridiculing someone who complains about hot weather.

....to control his frustration when a colleague gripes about his coffee being cold.

....to remain calm when his daughter complains about having to walk the dog.

....to be civil to people who complain about their jobs.

....to just walk away when someone says they only get two weeks of vacation a year.

....to be forgiving when someone says how hard it is to have a new baby in the house.

The only thing that's harder than being a soldier....

....is loving one.

May God bless my friends, and those I don't know who serve faithfully.
~Believer in PRTC

Downstairs

2010-07-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

Here's something that's fun-describing the room your in.
I'm sitting on a the farthest left side of the couch. Downstairs. Right next to my brother. My brother is next to Joseph. (Katie's brother) And Josh (another friend of ours) who is laying down is next to him. It's actually a rather funny picture. Joseph has a black and orange striped blanket on top of him, while Josh is wearing a towel (no worries, there's also a swimsuit) and laying with a pillow under his head on Joseph's knee. It's quite funny. Jessica is somewhere on the ground, not to sure where, I can't see her from where I am. As well as Anna is sitting on a mound of pillows next to me. We are down in the "man cave" watching Marley and Me. As I found out, a rather awkward movie to watch with three teenage guys. Right in front of me is a white square table almost directly symmetrical with the fireplace and the t.v. on top of that. The fireplace is beautiful. It's got a lot of stone placed randomly throughout the whole shindig. A dart board is to the right of it, hanging on the wall. Last night I totally whooped Joseph in a game. Minus the permanent hole in the wall. Zach's guitar is to the left of the fire place, and then all of the electronic things beside that. Then, the fuse ball table, that no one has played with...yet. I'm sure we'll fix that tonight.
I'm to lazy to try to describe anything more. Ha.
We got two new amazingly, awesome, spectacular jet skies!!! They go SO fast! I'm in love...
See ya,
Believer in PRTC

Our Journey

2010-07-02T22:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm up at the lakes for the weekend. We had a very eventful ride here. A car trip that was only supposed to take 2 hours, ended up taking 5. Crazy right?
Our boat's trailer's tire blew...apparently no one seems to want to carry the size we needed. Eventually we found one (after about a hour of searching) and changed it.

And by we, I mean the three teen guys who are with us.

The before tire on the ground and the new tire on and changed.

Needless to say, we were all very glad we prayed for safety on our ride up :) Gladly, we got here.

That's it for now, I'll post more later!

~Believer in PRTC

2010-06-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

Saying goodbye is hard.

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos." ~Charles M. Schulz

Amen, Schulz dude.

Strange Occurances

2010-06-25T20:26:00.000-07:00

Oh the irony of the last few days I've had. Quite a few strange things have happened that seem to be catching up with me. I can't help but laugh while thinking about this.

On Wednesday, a friend, youth-leader, and I went to Fazolis* for supper before Bible study. This particular happening had to do with hair on this night. My youth leader has this shorter spiky hair, and I have some blue highlights/chunks of blue**in my do, as of now. Then my friend just has a longer "normal" hairstyle. We were there for a few moments, talking and joking. Then this group of guys chose to take the booth one away from us. One guy had spikes sticking straight up with black hair, the equivalent to my spiky hair youth leader's hair. The second dude has black hair with blue bangs, almost the same as my hair. Then, the third guy had normal hair, like my friend. Maybe it's only me who notices these things...

Today.

I fell down because of my own klutziness, twice. Once would be normal, but twice? I'm not so sure about that.

I threw bricks into an outhouse's toilet. Not the first day I've done it, but rather different then normal.

An old guy winked at me at IHOP. Luckily, I was with my mom and dad.

I saw a truck overflowing with tires. It went over a railroad tack and about lost a few. Not only was it "to the brim" with tires, it was also a maroon truck with yellow stripes.

My brother and I went to a fireworks store that was supposed to be open at 3. It was 3:08 and it was closer and locked.

I was pouring out some skittles from a bag today, and there were 7 yellows and 1 purple that came out. Weird.

I've read around 220 pages in two different books today. That's what summer is for, right?

No one texted me, all day. Except for my grandma...

Anything weird in your life right now?
~Believer in PRTC

*I'm in love with Italian anything. I've never been to Italy, but have a complete desire to go there someday.

** I get color highlights in my hair during the summer that was out after 3-4 weeks because my school does not allow me to have them during the school year. I'm a rebel =] (I'll post pics later)

A Month

2010-06-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

A month ago, I hugged my friend, and I told her goodbye.
Katie is the "bestest" friend I've ever had...
Even half way across the world.

At first, I was scared that she would forget. Forget me, forget all of the memories we had. I thought she would temporarily not remember what she had here, and she would make new friends, have new ideas. I was scared she was going to change, monumentaly, and that I wouldn't be able to meet her expectations as someone who would be able to adapt to her new personality (if she had one) and still be a friend.

Then I realized I was being silly.

We seem to have this thing, between us, where we grow together. As friends, we have an understanding with each other where we learn new things. We experience things together. We hurt together. I don't think that I will ever have to worry about the above anxieties. God seems to be shining some light on this friendship. I have nothing to worry about. God is showing me His love through her. I'm learning more then I ever have before through this friendship. And, I'm so glad. All that to say,

I miss you Katie.
~Believer in PRTC

Learning to Breathe

2010-06-19T15:51:00.000-07:00

"I'm learning to breathe.
I'm learning to crawl.
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall.
I'm living again, awake and alive.
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies."
~Switchfoot
I'm back from church camp*, sadly. I fell asleep last night wishing I were on a air mattress, knowing I was having the best week of my life. I wish, oh so very much, that I could live at church camp, though it would make me exhausted, I would absolutely be in love with it.
One of my favorite parts of the whole week were our nightly lessons and worship services called "The Experience". On Monday, our worship leader** spoke. Then Tuesday, was our girl youth pastor. And on Thursday, it was our main youth pastor. All three of the services were absolutely life changing experiences, if you let them be.
But here is pretty much the main thing I took away.
I need to depend on God, and stop living in fear. You know,
Depend
On
God
Dog?
Seems so simple, yet so difficult. I've learned that He's the only thing that will ever be able to break my fall. I think this chorus seems to have a time pattern here.
"I'm learning to breathe. I'm learning to crawl..."
There is where I was a few months ago. There were days where I hated God, I blamed Him for everything. But then, the Holy Spirit would convict my heart and I would come crawling back to my faith, very slowly. I tried my very hardest to rely on my head knowledge, what I had been taught, and not what I had been believing. I would bury myself in the fear that had closed me off from feeling like I could ever trust again.
"I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall..."
After I had crawled up to my faith, God started showing me things. Like, I can't do this all on my own. I need help, and I needed to "find" Him. It took me a very long time to figure out that the only non-human Thing I could place my trust in, and not get hurt was Him. Only Him. Why didn't I do that before?
"I'm living again, awake and alive. I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies."
Well, then came church camp. Guess who I found? Him. Yeah, it's spectacular to hope again. To know that I don't have to live one more day in the fear the the Enemy gives me. I'm learning to breathe.

*Church camp isn't exactly church camp. It's this marvelous thing called SERVE. Basically, for the 6-12 graders, we all spend the night at the church from Monday-Friday. During the week we go out into the community and put on backyard Bible clubs, visit nursing homes, do house rehabs, free car washes, work in soup kitchens, etc. There were 35 different agencies that we worked with this year and 316 participants. Needless to say, it's not a normal church camp.
** Worship leader doesn't describe it, it's more like lead worshiper. He's the worshiper who is the leader of the whole shindig. If that makes sense...
Just my thoughts,
~Believer in PRTC

Kissing

2010-06-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

Here it is, my promised post about kissing:
I had asked all of you guys about when you think "the first kiss" should be saved for. The results that I got kind of surprised me for a few reasons. One, because I had no idea that people had actually thought about this. Two, I didn't know that there were that many girls promising to save their first kiss for their husband. Three, I got a lot of responses, which made me happy.

Well here goes nothing...

You'll have a good time. I can promise you that. Kissing is (so I've heard) marvelous. But I'm really not going to go into that side of it. But the fact that you are kissing means that you have emotional ties to the person that you've locked lips with. What will it feel like when there is no more of that. When you break up and find that you don't have that person there for you anymore? The empty feeling inside your heart will burn, it will hurt for quite a long time. It will take a long time to heal, but God is the One who will heal it, in His time.

But, after you have broken up with that person, what happens when you start dating someone else? You've already been to the "kissing stage". What is stopping you from doing it again? There is no more barrier that you haven't broken down. This time you might even go further. And if you haven't had a chance to completely heal from your previous relationship, most likely you'll dive into your next relationship quickly and not have as many boundaries to stop at.

You feel as if you love this person right now. It's probable. I'm not saying it's impossible. It's good to be open to love. One of my favorite quotes- "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung, and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in a casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." C.S. Lewis. So the fact that you are open to dating/love is good, that's how God made it. As long as we don't dwell on the fact that we are dating and going farther into a relationship to quickly without realizing if were too young for where are relationship is at.

Another thought, what will happen when you are introducing your family to a previous boyfriend/girlfriend? Will you be ashamed of what you had done in that relationship? Would you be embarrassed? Or would you be able to introduce them as a friend, with a clean mind included?

Those are just my thoughts. I have friends who are/have been on both side of this. One, who has been in relationships with guys that have brought about kissing, and one that has promised to save her first kiss for the only one it is supposed to go to...

I tend to side with the second.

I am saving my kiss for for my one and only because of what the One and Only wants me to do.
I can't even tell you how long I've fought Him in this battle between my personal desires and what He wants me to do. Guess who won?
Him.
And I'm glad.
Feel free to share any thoughts you have, weather you agree on not, I don't mind :)
~Believer in PRTC

So Sorry

2010-06-04T10:41:00.001-07:00

Just for the record, I will be back soon. So sorry, I have been banded from my computer for the lack of a clean room. But I'll be back soon with the post I promised :)
Ta Ta,
~Believer in PRTC

Something New Started

2010-05-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

I just started something new...
Writing to my future husband :)
In a few years,
I hope he will treasure it.

It's new for me, but I was reading "Wait For Me" by Rebbecca St.James. (if you haven't read it, I highly suggest it.) She told about how she has been doing so. It inspired me, and I thought of how just great it would be if I started doing that when I am 15. So, I did it. I went and bought a notebook the stamps "PURE" across the front. On every page there is some quote or verse about being pure. I can't wait to give it to Mr. Right.

I highly encourage you to do it too, see what will come out of it. It's a journey, and I'm kind of excited.
P.s. My next post will have to do with the little poll that has been on the side of my wall...just a heads up.
Enjoy,
~Believer in PRTC

He Saved Me

2010-05-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

A poem I wrote for school, a while ago.

The small child,
Just a mere boy.
Looked at his mother and smiled.
He asked, "What can I do to bring you joy?"

Why, the Mother replied,
"You stupid kid! Get out of my sight!"
The boy ran to his room and cried.
For his room was just a closet, with a small light.

The boys tears fell down his face,
As he heard a man come into his room
He only wanted to be embraced,
But the man let the painful things resume.

The man yanked the boy out by the hand.
He dragged him to his mother, and shouted,
"Has he done as I command?"
"No! He never does!" The women shouted.

The man didn't stop there,
He threw the small child against the wall,
The small child called out a prayer,
"Jesus!" He cried as he tried to get away and crawl.

The man came after the child,
but a bright light shone through.
The man was blinded, and he went wild.
The boy was saved, by the Shield, he whispered "Thank you."

So what can he say?
His life was almost gone, as far as he could see.
As the Lord showed today,
"I was facing death and He saved me"

The most shoplifted book

2010-05-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

The Bible is the most shoplifted book.
Coincidence?
I think not.

Katie gets to stay overnight in Paris, which is something she wanted to do really badly. Now she gets to, yay for her :) 81 days...

82 days...

2010-05-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

I cried today.
I said goodbye.
I miss my best friend.
A. lot.
Actually, more then a lot.
A bazillion gazillion million a lot.
Even more then that.
82 days.
I can do this.
I think.

American Idol

2010-05-21T07:52:00.000-07:00

Lee vs. Crystal.......

there duet was outstanding!

But, I hope Lee wins. :)

Dear David

2010-05-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

Dear David,
Did you know that through all the people I've seen come and go, you were the one who encouraged me the most? You were the one who was there every week, laughing- weather rain or shine, wether you were sad or happy. You was there almost every week. You loved us for who we were.
David.
He was someone who knew God's word inside and out, from cover to cover, and you could barely ever talk to him without sharing quotes or talking about books or just saying things about his experiences and what he has learned. God's love shone through him. He showed me a lot of things, he challenged me, and answered my questions. So thank you David. You've made such an impact.
I'm going to miss you when you leave.

~Believer in PRTC

Something More

2010-05-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

I was in my analytical brain during Science class searching for something to think about, and I came up with teens and our "stubbornness"; which then led to thinking about the book "Do Hard Things". I've read this book.(more then once...OK, twice.)But why? Why hasn't anything been done? Is there something that were missing? We read this amazing book that inspires us to "get out there and change the whole world" but then a few months later, the inspiration wears off. Maybe it's just that I haven't heard about anything that teens are doing to prove the expectations that teens don't care, wrong. Why are we not doing anything? Why haven't we done anything?
Why am I not doing something?
In the words of Switchfoot...

"There's gotta be something more
Than what I'm living for
I'm crying out to You
There's gotta be something more
Than what I'm living for
I'm crying out to You"

Do something to change the world :)
Believer in PRTC

Rain

2010-05-08T20:39:00.000-07:00

Every time the wind stirs I look out the window, (which I have been doing for the last two days here) I try to find any hint of rain. Rain is my therapy. It's the way I learn to let go of things, to remind myself of how to forgive, and that I, myself, am forgiven. I can spin and twirl in the rain like I'm 5, I can sing at the top of my lungs, like no one is listening, and laugh hysterically.I could splash in every puddle alive, and make the water fly everywhere. I can feel like I could conquer the world in maybe a day or two. I could fly. I could love again without hurt or boundaries. I could find what I've been missing. I could have my old life back. I could forget. But, the best thing is...

"Stillness in the air
clouds hovering nearby
waiting

tears fall silently
blending into warm streams
upon my cheeks

following paths
like my thoughts
over time

each droplet
holds a dream
and a hope."

I can cry, and no one notices.
~Believer in PRTC

Disappointed

2010-05-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

So sorry for the span of a bit of time while this blog was currently not having wonderful new post and crazy new ideas being popped out in the delicate form of an amazing way to interact with the web in this thing called posting.
So yes, it has been a while. How have you guys all been? Life has been pretty hectic on my side.
I am very disappointed in some of my friends right now. It isn't like they're my closest friends, they're just some girls and guys from school that haven't made some right choices. Everyone makes mistakes, and when this is all over I know they're going to regret this. Disappointment isn't easy on top of everything else that's going on in life. I find as long as I am not "in" on this gossip, stand up for what I believe is right and wrong, and do my best to not judge, then hopefully, I am doing whats is right.
“Right is right, even if everyone is against it; and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it” William Penn (I'm actually related to this guy.)
I'm the weird one in the crowd right now, but whats that matter? I always have been, nothings about to change. That's how I like it.
I will do what I believe is right,
~Believer in PRTC

For tonight

2010-04-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

I must apologize, I have not posted in an incredible amount of time, I am dearly sorry, for I have been quite busy lately.
So anyways, this summer I have to say goodbye to three people. One is my best guy friend, who I will miss dearly, and I'm not sure how exactly how this is going to work, because I think I might go crazy without him. Next is my best girl friend, Katie. That one is going to be hard to, but I know that Katie will be back when summers over. I will miss her dearly though. Next, is another girl, just a kind of close friend. Her name is also Katey, (just different spelling obviously) she is going to take off to Uganda for the summer to go work in an orphanage. I'm not super close to her, because we've grown apart over the last few months. Still, she will be coming back. Possibly one more still. Another great friend might,(but most likely not) be going to Japan, but that's just a maybe. If that happens, I'll let you know.
So now the question is...how am I supposed to survive this? The bad thing is,
I'm not sure.
I keep finding myself asking the question "Was it worth it?"
I think so, but it's still hard. I'm trying though. Is it worth making friends when I'm just going to end up losing them? Maybe, I think it just depends on who, and how long. It makes me anxious just thinking about it. I know, this wasn't a great post, but it's just some thoughts. So, if you took the time to read it, thanks. I will be more fun and more creative later on. :)
So for tonight, thats all you get. =]
Believer in PRTC

Society Screams

2010-04-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

Society screams sometimes. Very loudly might I add. You've most likely heard it before. Something like you must do(insert a creative reason that girls are "supposed to be" stereotyped into here) to fit in. I never realized I might have been doing this. I've always hated being fit into some category that I had to be molded and formed into. Which happens often to me. When going to a christian school, how can you not find yourself being called "sheltered" or someone expressing how christian school kids wouldn't know what it was like in "real life". I'll let you in on a little secret-we're just like anyone else. We have the same struggles, the same popularity issues go on, the same pervertedness of boys in our school is there.
I'm getting off subject here...
So anyways, I know (to an extent) I have listened to those voices who tell me what is supposed to be "right" or "acceptable" in society's eyes. I never thought I was open to hearing what society says. I was right where I wanted to be. I didn't care what other people thought or said about me. I didn't care if I acted silly. I was ME. Who I should have been. But those voices are coming back, and already are in my head. They tell me who I should be, and it's not who I want to be. I know when those comments come into my already stressed out mind and I try to process them, that the devil seems to have a way of screaming them at me in a twisted,just plain mean mannor. It reminds me of what I've always thought of Chinese Torture to be like. They seem to take that one issue that I might be trying to change, or that I'm just the tinniest bit insecure or self conscious about, and then everything explodes into preposterous lies that I am fed, until my reasonable mind becomes alive again, caught back up, and then realizes what I just did.
I believed a lie.
Yes, Ali has believed lies before. Sadly, more than once. I have to be brutally honest with myself and create a little filter for my brain. I'm noticing more often then not, I can realize that I am analyzing what I do or how I act, and every once and a while how I fit in. When I do, that's the time when I have to be most aware and not let those lies come and eat away at my mental and spiritual health as they have been doing.
I feel kinda intellectually smart because I have listened to more then my fair share of sermons on the matter of lies and how to identify them and what happens when we don't take care of them...so on and so forth. But I had never really realized how to get rid of them until now. I think this is right and fair, but maybe I'm wrong. Feel free to contradict me :)
"I am aching to peel off the fake paper shell and be the girl God created me to be." Natalie Lloyd from "Paperdoll" page 33.
Thanks for taking a moment to read my processing prose. (For a second I got really excited because I thought "processing prose" rhythms, sadly, I found that it doesn't.)
Ta ta for now,
~Believer in PRTC

Thought I'd share.

2010-04-04T18:22:00.000-07:00

My brother was walking out of church today, and told me that he had seen this complete utterly funny story unfolding before his eyes...
There was a little boy and his grandmother standing together by the doorway, waiting for the rest of the family to return. The little boy had this sour spray candy, and kept trying to get his grandmother to try it.
"Come on Grandma! It's not that sour" this little boy was apparently convincing enough because the Grandma Finally gave in. He sprayed it in her mouth three or four times. The Grandma then proceeded to make one of the most funny 'lemon faces' you had ever seen.
"You told me it wasn't sour!" The Grandma complained and then slapped the boy who was laughing hysterically at the fact he had fooled his Grandma.
~Believer in PRTC

I'm Excited

2010-04-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

I'm excited for a few reasons right now...

We're leaving soon to go see How To Train Your Dragon. Call me a little kid if you must, but I am thrilled. There's something about those types of movies that I love-like Aladdin. "I can show you the world..." Did I mention it has a MAGIC carpet? totally in awe of the fact that a carpet beat me in the race of trying to fly...

Tomorrow is the showing of "The Passion of the Christ" at church. I'm half-way scared to watch it (besides the fact that I'm going to ruin my reputation of not having cried while watching a movie before.) because I know it is rather in detail, but I want to have more understanding of what He had to go through. In my mind the results beat the reasons. (Plus, I could always leave the room if it gets to bad.)

On Friday, I'm going over to Katie's house for her birthday! I'm really excited about that!!! We will most likely will be watching for a rainbow all day on Saturday. I'll keep you posted on if we find one or not.

I'm eating Ice cream tonight. It's spring break- what can I say? I'm dieting but, I guess, I'll let this one slip. (And maybe Katie's birthday party too. There's going to be cake...)

A ladybug scared me about 30 minutes ago, and I about fell over when letting it outside-funny story. I'm still recovering, slowly.

I put up a new blog "look". It took me 3 hours to put that together because I couldn't find the right combination. Yes, you can call me picky. I think I like this one though.

I lost another pound! Yay for me :) And so now, I will go celebrate with a feast over ice cream tonight and cake and ice cream tomorrow at Katie's birthday. Ha.

Well that's about it, enjoy!
~Believer in PRTC

Jesus Wept

2010-03-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

So you know that shortest verse in the Bible...John 11:35 "Jesus wept".
Think about that for a second-it doesn't say Jesus cried, or Jesus spilled some tears. No-
He wept.
The definition of wept- to express deep sorrow for usually by shedding tears; to pour forth (tears) from the eyes; to express passion (as grief) by shedding tears.
The only reference made in the Bible that Jesus wept...
The same Guy who died for us, showed us an example of love by simply weeping.
Take that one and chew on it for a bit.
~Believer in PRTC

Ali's Rambles...

2010-03-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

I've got lots and lots to think about. Well, more like lots to consider. But I'm working on it, and I'm working hard....I'm just really really busy.
Play practice starts tomorrow!!! YES! I'm soooo excited!
Camp dress tomorrow! (we get to wear jeans to school!) AKA, we have to pay to be normal, funny day.
My brain is in overload-I have finals this week, guitar lessons, flute lessons, play practice, church, meetings with leaders, things to fix with friends, school work in general, freaking out about grades to do, and I have to build a castle. (just kidding about that last one :-)
Life is overwhelming for now, I have my moments. I'm doing alot better though. I processed through alot with one of our youth pastors from church, and am working on my relationship with God, and trying to rebuild it. Hard stuff, but who said it was going to be easy?
That my rambling for today...
~Believer in PRTC

I'm a Skipper :) well kinda...

2010-03-23T13:57:00.001-07:00

Today was a good day.
I skipped school :)
Yes, I know you just read that twice...
But let me assure you, it was dad approved.

So anyways, I didn't really "skip" school, I got out of it because I had to talk to some leaders plus I'm doing really well in all my classes. My Dad signed me out and said I had, "Appointments". Half true, these were both meetings that were set up in advance. They both went really well, and gave me more things to think about. Hope everyone else had a good day too :) I'm meeting with a youth leader and another girl at Concannons tomorrow so then I will get some chocolate. :D yay. Oh and just an update, I've lost 15 lbs. How cool is that?!
Someone called me "analytical Ali." Funny day.
~Believer in PRTC

New Layout

2010-03-22T17:56:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by The Inkwellers to change my layout, plus Katie gave me a link to where I can get blog templates. I don't normally go with a lighter/white background, but I liked this one. The Title picture, or whatever, is one I took a bit ago. I like it :) Hope you do too...
Love,
Believer in PRTC

Trying to Find Faith Purple Rain and Talking Cows.

The beginning of a redemption story.

penpals - starting my own basket

Overcome

what i was like as a kid

i thought it would be a good time to blog

the picture blog post

wishing flower

Mirror.

things i love

oh goodness.

"if we are the body..."

things i kind of really like

To "My Man" (and others who relate.)

An update on, well everything.

PLEASE PRAY!

Oh Wisdom Teeth...

Creations of Beauty a la Ali.

These are a few of my favorite things

Tis the Season

Paperdoll Party and Giveaway!

Tis my room.

The Day Before

Giveaway Winner!!!!

Just the Way You Are

Tag, I'm it!

oh Christmas memories

GIVEAWAY! :)

"I want to hold your hand..."

a secret to tell

oh, titles, who reads them anyways?

Part 2 is here :)

A Story, Part 1

Has it Really Been a Year?

Verb.

It's Not Growing Up Anymore-Chris Dennis

Marshmallows and Friend

Divine Construction of Beauty

Real Love

You are You

Mib

Winnie the Pooh Proverbs

Reoccurring

I Challenge YOU *points*

I can't wait!

Father Knows Best "Success"

Pray

Broekn Surrender Continued

Broken Surrender

To Save a Life (part 2) "Youth Pastor Love"

To Save a Life (part1)

Why?

A Sad Poem Until Monday

Indescribable

Findings

Just An Idea

I've Been Tagged...

Terrible Thoughts

Wedding Pictures!!

Close to Death

Not to much

Groundhog Cantaloupe

Hopeless

A Night at the B's House

Three Weeks Minus One Day

Stories

30 days.

Sometimes

Wall-E

Student Life!!

Serve Drama Team

Oh My, We're Related.

I Heart Faces : Teens Only

What Would I Say?

Thought I'd Share

Downstairs

Our Journey

Strange Occurances

A Month

Learning to Breathe

I Challenge YOU points