The drive home was the farthest thing from peaceful. My heart accelerated, my pain escalated, my stress overwhelming, my emotion too much. My life was quickly crumbling into torturous bits. I placed my hand on my thin belly. How could I manage this? My father was right. I’m an ignorant irresponsible scoundrel. The words were manifested in my soul. Nothing of beauty lived inside of me. This child would turn-
It wasn’t a child yet. It was just some cells. Thats what my splendid sex-ed teacher has told my class back when I was a freshman in high school. I should feel no guilt in doing away with the thing. I mean, what the heck, I’m already rotten anyway. This fetus could never be raised by me. It’s probably already to screwed just by me being the thing’s carrier.
Then why even keep it any longer?
I looked outside of my drivers window. Life presumed around me. People were clueless. My utter aloneness was surrounded by swarms of human beings. Human beings who were successful, talented, fulfilled, smart, and loved. I, on the other hand, stood in the middle of the rotating earth by myself, secluded from any form sanity.
I made my decision quickly and irrationally. But who was there to stop me? I switched into the right lane. I knew the hectic intersection would be a perfect and quick end. I timed it just right, and slowed down to stop at a red light. Then, just as the opposite direction's light turned green. I urged my foot onto the accelerator.
Only a second or two were passed before another vehicle collided with mine and I was thrown into a world of darkness.
to be continued...