Around this time marks a year for some major stuff that happened. Maybe I just like out of the norm things. I learned so much within this last year. It was a beautiful world of hurt that only pushed my closer to where I am now. Part of it, I regret deeply. Then again, I wonder if something different had happened, would I be here, right now telling you that I love where I am? Granted things were out of control (ha, when are they in control?) and hectic, but I've gotten through it. The feeling of being able to finally understand that our trials bring a unknown strength about us makes me wonder what other mountains I can take on. I'm undeceive about the pain that comes with the unknown, but when you get back up again you'll understand. You'll have the peace that passes all understanding. But don't wait to get back up, because you could easily miss something important. Believe in yourself, love who you are, and watch and wait for who you will become.
Love ya guys,
~Believer in PRTC
(BABIES!) ShaNe, Kt, Annnnnnnna :)
Verb.
(not mine, thanks google)
LOVE by ali.
Love is a verb, an action.
Love is here all of the time.
John 15:12b (NLT) "...I love you"
Purple Rain and Talking Cows.
It's Not Growing Up Anymore-Chris Dennis
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
This question has plagued me since I was little. Nervous as I was, some random, wacky job always seemed to come out of my mouth. Still, as a sophomore, I can't even help but freeze up when someone asks me this face-to-face. It's not that I don't know what I want to do, it's that I don't want to say it. I don't want to be responsible if I fail, when it really gets to the bottom of everything. I think I gave up the idea of succeeding in something, or anything, that I would do a while ago. I always felt my ambitions were to big. I've been proved wrong though, countless times...
When I was in 5th grade, I believe, I wanted to run an orphanage. My mother had asked me, and that's what came out of my mouth. A fifth grader, wanting to keep track of other kids. I couldn't even remember to brush my own teeth without being told. Two days later, mom heard on the radio that there was a need for orphanages, they needed more people willing to run them. Say what? My random blurted-out answer fulfilled a need. Now, I don't want to do this anymore, but at the time, I was all for it.
There was a guy from my church. His name (I'm having the hardest time putting was and not is) was Chris Dennis. I didn't really know him that well. I could probably could on my toes and fingers how many words I spoke to him. The most distinct memory I have with him is when he came and talked to our youth group. I don't even remember what he talked about. I was to busy judging him. Chris had ALS. When I met him he could barely talk. He was in a wheelchair and couldn't do to much by himself. As a 6th grader, that didn't really matter to me. I've learned differently now. But what mattered is that he came to tell people not to give up, not to let something knock them down without getting back up. The day he was diagnosed (at least this is the story I heard) he went back to track practice, like nothing had happened. He stood strong in his faith. His story amazes me every time I hear it. All stories seem to come to an end though. He had passed away while sleeping one night...To this day I haven't found why God took him, of all people. At the time, I didn't care about his story when he came and spoke to us. But the moment that impacted me most was when I heard about his funeral.
This question has plagued me since I was little. Nervous as I was, some random, wacky job always seemed to come out of my mouth. Still, as a sophomore, I can't even help but freeze up when someone asks me this face-to-face. It's not that I don't know what I want to do, it's that I don't want to say it. I don't want to be responsible if I fail, when it really gets to the bottom of everything. I think I gave up the idea of succeeding in something, or anything, that I would do a while ago. I always felt my ambitions were to big. I've been proved wrong though, countless times...
When I was in 5th grade, I believe, I wanted to run an orphanage. My mother had asked me, and that's what came out of my mouth. A fifth grader, wanting to keep track of other kids. I couldn't even remember to brush my own teeth without being told. Two days later, mom heard on the radio that there was a need for orphanages, they needed more people willing to run them. Say what? My random blurted-out answer fulfilled a need. Now, I don't want to do this anymore, but at the time, I was all for it.
There was a guy from my church. His name (I'm having the hardest time putting was and not is) was Chris Dennis. I didn't really know him that well. I could probably could on my toes and fingers how many words I spoke to him. The most distinct memory I have with him is when he came and talked to our youth group. I don't even remember what he talked about. I was to busy judging him. Chris had ALS. When I met him he could barely talk. He was in a wheelchair and couldn't do to much by himself. As a 6th grader, that didn't really matter to me. I've learned differently now. But what mattered is that he came to tell people not to give up, not to let something knock them down without getting back up. The day he was diagnosed (at least this is the story I heard) he went back to track practice, like nothing had happened. He stood strong in his faith. His story amazes me every time I hear it. All stories seem to come to an end though. He had passed away while sleeping one night...To this day I haven't found why God took him, of all people. At the time, I didn't care about his story when he came and spoke to us. But the moment that impacted me most was when I heard about his funeral.
This is a picture from his funeral. There were too many pallbearers so there were 6 who carried him and the others had their hands on the shoulder of the person carrying Chris. It was in that moment, my character broke. I pleaded out for change. I needed to change. I wanted to impact people like Chris did. Such an impact that has lasted this long to the point where he's been in heaven for years and I am still searching for what he did that others admired him for so much. Now, when people as me this:
"What do you want to do when you grow up?"
Well, you know what-it's not growing up anymore to me. I find it's in the moment where I freeze up and can't search fast enough for an answer is the moment when God finds me and uses that moment for His glory and plan to shine through. I don't feel silly anymore when asked this question because now, my answer is...
I want to make an impact and change peoples lives forever.
I can't imagine leaving this world without being a Chris Dennis, or countless other people I admire for their boldness and strength.
That's who I want to be.
That's who I will be.
~Believer in PRTC
Marshmallows and Friend
I <3 my followers.
~Believer in PRTC
Divine Construction of Beauty
If life were easy, wouldn't we give up faster then if it were harder, or to the extent that it is at right now? I think if it were easier then we would be more confused or stressed because sometimes we just wouldn't have a will to try hard enough to be motivated. What do you think? I think God balanced the world so perfectly that everything seems to be in a Divine construction of beauty.
Just my thoughts :)
~believer in PRTC
Just my thoughts :)
~believer in PRTC
Real Love
I finally found enough time and courage to blog about this...
"Blue like Jazz" by Donald Miller...
"There were aspects of christian spirituality I liked and aspects I thought were humdrum...I associated much of Christian doctrine with children's stories because I grew up in church. My Sunday School teacher had turned Bible narrative into children's fables. They talked about Noah and the ark because the story had animals in it. They failed to mention that this was when God massacred all of humanity...I felt as if Christianity, as a religious system, was a product that kept falling apart, and whoever was selling it would hold the broken parts behind his back trying to divert every body's attention. The children's story stuff was the thing I felt Christians were holding behind their back. It took me a while to realize that these stories while often used with children, are not at all children's stories. I think that the devil has tricked us into thinking so much of biblical theology is story fit for kids. How did we come to think the story of Noah's ark is appropriate for children? Can you imagine a children's book about Noah's ark complete with paintings of people gasping in gallons of water, mothers grasping their children while their bodies go flying down white-rapid rivers, the children's tiny heads being bashed against rocks or hung up in fallen trees? I don't think a children's book like that would sell many copies..."
I've read this part of the book over and over. My mind was spinning by the time I was finished. I hadn't even relized it. I was a Sunday School teacher. I had taught my class about Noah and the Ark, of course I left out that God took revenge on all of humanity in that moment of time. Then, I wondered how many other things that I had taken with complete acceptance, simply because someone told me it was that way, or because that's what everyone else believed.
I realized I had a problem.
Soon I started taking lots of things and giving them this little test on whether it were completely true or not. I found that I've said Jesus died for me so many times. I hadn't even realized it...The God of the universe sent His only Son, the only One there was ever going to be, and gave Him life so that He could die a painful and shameful death. For me. This one soul. At my very inmost core I am stamped with His love. A love that never fails, and never ends. Why did this stop blowing my mind away? Sure, I was raised in a Christian home, with Christians parents. Sheesh, I've even gone to a Christians school my whole life. But, if I don't figure out that the one and only Son of God has loved me so much, and died for me, even before I was born, won't every time I hear that statement I'll find the devil is tricking me into making that seem normal? Or as if I deserved it?
Wow. When did that happen?
1 John 3:16 "We know what real love is because Christ gave up His life for us."
~Believer in PRTC
"Blue like Jazz" by Donald Miller...
"There were aspects of christian spirituality I liked and aspects I thought were humdrum...I associated much of Christian doctrine with children's stories because I grew up in church. My Sunday School teacher had turned Bible narrative into children's fables. They talked about Noah and the ark because the story had animals in it. They failed to mention that this was when God massacred all of humanity...I felt as if Christianity, as a religious system, was a product that kept falling apart, and whoever was selling it would hold the broken parts behind his back trying to divert every body's attention. The children's story stuff was the thing I felt Christians were holding behind their back. It took me a while to realize that these stories while often used with children, are not at all children's stories. I think that the devil has tricked us into thinking so much of biblical theology is story fit for kids. How did we come to think the story of Noah's ark is appropriate for children? Can you imagine a children's book about Noah's ark complete with paintings of people gasping in gallons of water, mothers grasping their children while their bodies go flying down white-rapid rivers, the children's tiny heads being bashed against rocks or hung up in fallen trees? I don't think a children's book like that would sell many copies..."
I've read this part of the book over and over. My mind was spinning by the time I was finished. I hadn't even relized it. I was a Sunday School teacher. I had taught my class about Noah and the Ark, of course I left out that God took revenge on all of humanity in that moment of time. Then, I wondered how many other things that I had taken with complete acceptance, simply because someone told me it was that way, or because that's what everyone else believed.
I realized I had a problem.
Soon I started taking lots of things and giving them this little test on whether it were completely true or not. I found that I've said Jesus died for me so many times. I hadn't even realized it...The God of the universe sent His only Son, the only One there was ever going to be, and gave Him life so that He could die a painful and shameful death. For me. This one soul. At my very inmost core I am stamped with His love. A love that never fails, and never ends. Why did this stop blowing my mind away? Sure, I was raised in a Christian home, with Christians parents. Sheesh, I've even gone to a Christians school my whole life. But, if I don't figure out that the one and only Son of God has loved me so much, and died for me, even before I was born, won't every time I hear that statement I'll find the devil is tricking me into making that seem normal? Or as if I deserved it?
Wow. When did that happen?
1 John 3:16 "We know what real love is because Christ gave up His life for us."
~Believer in PRTC
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