Saying goodbye is hard.

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos." ~Charles M. Schulz

Amen, Schulz dude.

Strange Occurances

Oh the irony of the last few days I've had. Quite a few strange things have happened that seem to be catching up with me. I can't help but laugh while thinking about this.

On Wednesday, a friend, youth-leader, and I went to Fazolis* for supper before Bible study. This particular happening had to do with hair on this night. My youth leader has this shorter spiky hair, and I have some blue highlights/chunks of blue**in my do, as of now. Then my friend just has a longer "normal" hairstyle. We were there for a few moments, talking and joking. Then this group of guys chose to take the booth one away from us. One guy had spikes sticking straight up with black hair, the equivalent to my spiky hair youth leader's hair. The second dude has black hair with blue bangs, almost the same as my hair. Then, the third guy had normal hair, like my friend. Maybe it's only me who notices these things...

Today.

I fell down because of my own klutziness, twice. Once would be normal, but twice? I'm not so sure about that.

I threw bricks into an outhouse's toilet. Not the first day I've done it, but rather different then normal.

An old guy winked at me at IHOP. Luckily, I was with my mom and dad.

I saw a truck overflowing with tires. It went over a railroad tack and about lost a few. Not only was it "to the brim" with tires, it was also a maroon truck with yellow stripes.

My brother and I went to a fireworks store that was supposed to be open at 3. It was 3:08 and it was closer and locked.

I was pouring out some skittles from a bag today, and there were 7 yellows and 1 purple that came out. Weird.

I've read around 220 pages in two different books today. That's what summer is for, right?

No one texted me, all day. Except for my grandma...

Anything weird in your life right now?
~Believer in PRTC

*I'm in love with Italian anything. I've never been to Italy, but have a complete desire to go there someday.

** I get color highlights in my hair during the summer that was out after 3-4 weeks because my school does not allow me to have them during the school year. I'm a rebel =] (I'll post pics later)

A Month

A month ago, I hugged my friend, and I told her goodbye.
Katie is the "bestest" friend I've ever had...
Even half way across the world.

At first, I was scared that she would forget. Forget me, forget all of the memories we had. I thought she would temporarily not remember what she had here, and she would make new friends, have new ideas. I was scared she was going to change, monumentaly, and that I wouldn't be able to meet her expectations as someone who would be able to adapt to her new personality (if she had one) and still be a friend.

Then I realized I was being silly.

We seem to have this thing, between us, where we grow together. As friends, we have an understanding with each other where we learn new things. We experience things together. We hurt together. I don't think that I will ever have to worry about the above anxieties. God seems to be shining some light on this friendship. I have nothing to worry about. God is showing me His love through her. I'm learning more then I ever have before through this friendship. And, I'm so glad. All that to say,

I miss you Katie.
~Believer in PRTC

Learning to Breathe

"I'm learning to breathe.
I'm learning to crawl.
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall.
I'm living again, awake and alive.
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies."
~Switchfoot
I'm back from church camp*, sadly. I fell asleep last night wishing I were on a air mattress, knowing I was having the best week of my life. I wish, oh so very much, that I could live at church camp, though it would make me exhausted, I would absolutely be in love with it.
One of my favorite parts of the whole week were our nightly lessons and worship services called "The Experience". On Monday, our worship leader** spoke. Then Tuesday, was our girl youth pastor. And on Thursday, it was our main youth pastor. All three of the services were absolutely life changing experiences, if you let them be.
But here is pretty much the main thing I took away.
I need to depend on God, and stop living in fear. You know,
Depend
On
God
Dog?
Seems so simple, yet so difficult. I've learned that He's the only thing that will ever be able to break my fall. I think this chorus seems to have a time pattern here.
"I'm learning to breathe. I'm learning to crawl..."
There is where I was a few months ago. There were days where I hated God, I blamed Him for everything. But then, the Holy Spirit would convict my heart and I would come crawling back to my faith, very slowly. I tried my very hardest to rely on my head knowledge, what I had been taught, and not what I had been believing. I would bury myself in the fear that had closed me off from feeling like I could ever trust again.
"I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall..."
After I had crawled up to my faith, God started showing me things. Like, I can't do this all on my own. I need help, and I needed to "find" Him. It took me a very long time to figure out that the only non-human Thing I could place my trust in, and not get hurt was Him. Only Him. Why didn't I do that before?
"I'm living again, awake and alive. I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies."
Well, then came church camp. Guess who I found? Him. Yeah, it's spectacular to hope again. To know that I don't have to live one more day in the fear the the Enemy gives me. I'm learning to breathe.

*Church camp isn't exactly church camp. It's this marvelous thing called SERVE. Basically, for the 6-12 graders, we all spend the night at the church from Monday-Friday. During the week we go out into the community and put on backyard Bible clubs, visit nursing homes, do house rehabs, free car washes, work in soup kitchens, etc. There were 35 different agencies that we worked with this year and 316 participants. Needless to say, it's not a normal church camp.
** Worship leader doesn't describe it, it's more like lead worshiper. He's the worshiper who is the leader of the whole shindig. If that makes sense...
Just my thoughts,
~Believer in PRTC

Kissing

Here it is, my promised post about kissing:
I had asked all of you guys about when you think "the first kiss" should be saved for. The results that I got kind of surprised me for a few reasons. One, because I had no idea that people had actually thought about this. Two, I didn't know that there were that many girls promising to save their first kiss for their husband. Three, I got a lot of responses, which made me happy.

Well here goes nothing...

You'll have a good time. I can promise you that. Kissing is (so I've heard) marvelous. But I'm really not going to go into that side of it. But the fact that you are kissing means that you have emotional ties to the person that you've locked lips with. What will it feel like when there is no more of that. When you break up and find that you don't have that person there for you anymore? The empty feeling inside your heart will burn, it will hurt for quite a long time. It will take a long time to heal, but God is the One who will heal it, in His time.

But, after you have broken up with that person, what happens when you start dating someone else? You've already been to the "kissing stage". What is stopping you from doing it again? There is no more barrier that you haven't broken down. This time you might even go further. And if you haven't had a chance to completely heal from your previous relationship, most likely you'll dive into your next relationship quickly and not have as many boundaries to stop at.

You feel as if you love this person right now. It's probable. I'm not saying it's impossible. It's good to be open to love. One of my favorite quotes- "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung, and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in a casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." C.S. Lewis. So the fact that you are open to dating/love is good, that's how God made it. As long as we don't dwell on the fact that we are dating and going farther into a relationship to quickly without realizing if were too young for where are relationship is at.

Another thought, what will happen when you are introducing your family to a previous boyfriend/girlfriend? Will you be ashamed of what you had done in that relationship? Would you be embarrassed? Or would you be able to introduce them as a friend, with a clean mind included?

Those are just my thoughts. I have friends who are/have been on both side of this. One, who has been in relationships with guys that have brought about kissing, and one that has promised to save her first kiss for the only one it is supposed to go to...

I tend to side with the second.

I am saving my kiss for for my one and only because of what the One and Only wants me to do.
I can't even tell you how long I've fought Him in this battle between my personal desires and what He wants me to do. Guess who won?
Him.
And I'm glad.
Feel free to share any thoughts you have, weather you agree on not, I don't mind :)
~Believer in PRTC

So Sorry

Just for the record, I will be back soon. So sorry, I have been banded from my computer for the lack of a clean room. But I'll be back soon with the post I promised :)
Ta Ta,
~Believer in PRTC