For tonight

I must apologize, I have not posted in an incredible amount of time, I am dearly sorry, for I have been quite busy lately.
So anyways, this summer I have to say goodbye to three people. One is my best guy friend, who I will miss dearly, and I'm not sure how exactly how this is going to work, because I think I might go crazy without him. Next is my best girl friend, Katie. That one is going to be hard to, but I know that Katie will be back when summers over. I will miss her dearly though. Next, is another girl, just a kind of close friend. Her name is also Katey, (just different spelling obviously) she is going to take off to Uganda for the summer to go work in an orphanage. I'm not super close to her, because we've grown apart over the last few months. Still, she will be coming back. Possibly one more still. Another great friend might,(but most likely not) be going to Japan, but that's just a maybe. If that happens, I'll let you know.
So now the question is...how am I supposed to survive this? The bad thing is,
I'm not sure.
I keep finding myself asking the question "Was it worth it?"
I think so, but it's still hard. I'm trying though. Is it worth making friends when I'm just going to end up losing them? Maybe, I think it just depends on who, and how long. It makes me anxious just thinking about it. I know, this wasn't a great post, but it's just some thoughts. So, if you took the time to read it, thanks. I will be more fun and more creative later on. :)
So for tonight, thats all you get. =]
Believer in PRTC

Society Screams

Society screams sometimes. Very loudly might I add. You've most likely heard it before. Something like you must do(insert a creative reason that girls are "supposed to be" stereotyped into here) to fit in. I never realized I might have been doing this. I've always hated being fit into some category that I had to be molded and formed into. Which happens often to me. When going to a christian school, how can you not find yourself being called "sheltered" or someone expressing how christian school kids wouldn't know what it was like in "real life". I'll let you in on a little secret-we're just like anyone else. We have the same struggles, the same popularity issues go on, the same pervertedness of boys in our school is there.
I'm getting off subject here...
So anyways, I know (to an extent) I have listened to those voices who tell me what is supposed to be "right" or "acceptable" in society's eyes. I never thought I was open to hearing what society says. I was right where I wanted to be. I didn't care what other people thought or said about me. I didn't care if I acted silly. I was ME. Who I should have been. But those voices are coming back, and already are in my head. They tell me who I should be, and it's not who I want to be. I know when those comments come into my already stressed out mind and I try to process them, that the devil seems to have a way of screaming them at me in a twisted,just plain mean mannor. It reminds me of what I've always thought of Chinese Torture to be like. They seem to take that one issue that I might be trying to change, or that I'm just the tinniest bit insecure or self conscious about, and then everything explodes into preposterous lies that I am fed, until my reasonable mind becomes alive again, caught back up, and then realizes what I just did.
I believed a lie.
Yes, Ali has believed lies before. Sadly, more than once. I have to be brutally honest with myself and create a little filter for my brain. I'm noticing more often then not, I can realize that I am analyzing what I do or how I act, and every once and a while how I fit in. When I do, that's the time when I have to be most aware and not let those lies come and eat away at my mental and spiritual health as they have been doing.
I feel kinda intellectually smart because I have listened to more then my fair share of sermons on the matter of lies and how to identify them and what happens when we don't take care of them...so on and so forth. But I had never really realized how to get rid of them until now. I think this is right and fair, but maybe I'm wrong. Feel free to contradict me :)
"I am aching to peel off the fake paper shell and be the girl God created me to be." Natalie Lloyd from "Paperdoll" page 33.
Thanks for taking a moment to read my processing prose. (For a second I got really excited because I thought "processing prose" rhythms, sadly, I found that it doesn't.)
Ta ta for now,
~Believer in PRTC

Thought I'd share.

My brother was walking out of church today, and told me that he had seen this complete utterly funny story unfolding before his eyes...
There was a little boy and his grandmother standing together by the doorway, waiting for the rest of the family to return. The little boy had this sour spray candy, and kept trying to get his grandmother to try it.
"Come on Grandma! It's not that sour" this little boy was apparently convincing enough because the Grandma Finally gave in. He sprayed it in her mouth three or four times. The Grandma then proceeded to make one of the most funny 'lemon faces' you had ever seen.
"You told me it wasn't sour!" The Grandma complained and then slapped the boy who was laughing hysterically at the fact he had fooled his Grandma.
~Believer in PRTC

I'm Excited

I'm excited for a few reasons right now...

We're leaving soon to go see How To Train Your Dragon. Call me a little kid if you must, but I am thrilled. There's something about those types of movies that I love-like Aladdin. "I can show you the world..." Did I mention it has a MAGIC carpet? totally in awe of the fact that a carpet beat me in the race of trying to fly...

Tomorrow is the showing of "The Passion of the Christ" at church. I'm half-way scared to watch it (besides the fact that I'm going to ruin my reputation of not having cried while watching a movie before.) because I know it is rather in detail, but I want to have more understanding of what He had to go through. In my mind the results beat the reasons. (Plus, I could always leave the room if it gets to bad.)

On Friday, I'm going over to Katie's house for her birthday! I'm really excited about that!!! We will most likely will be watching for a rainbow all day on Saturday. I'll keep you posted on if we find one or not.

I'm eating Ice cream tonight. It's spring break- what can I say? I'm dieting but, I guess, I'll let this one slip. (And maybe Katie's birthday party too. There's going to be cake...)

A ladybug scared me about 30 minutes ago, and I about fell over when letting it outside-funny story. I'm still recovering, slowly.

I put up a new blog "look". It took me 3 hours to put that together because I couldn't find the right combination. Yes, you can call me picky. I think I like this one though.

I lost another pound! Yay for me :) And so now, I will go celebrate with a feast over ice cream tonight and cake and ice cream tomorrow at Katie's birthday. Ha.

Well that's about it, enjoy!
~Believer in PRTC